Stolen Colon

And I'm back

2009-09-11T15:29:00.008-04:00

We're home. And I'm pooped. But on to the news . . .

The procedure went well. Very good actually. The Doc said the previous lasered areas looked great. ( Um, is "lasered" a real word? Well it is to me.) No signs of scarring and the ampullectomy site healed nicely and no new polyp was growing back in that tricky area. (that is very good news.) There were, however, a few baby* polyps starting in the duodenum. But, have no fear he blasted them with his Argon Plasma Coagulator. No, I'm not being funny.

So, the good docs recommendations.... come back for another scope in, get this THREE YEARS. YES THREE YEARS! HOLY FREAKING COW! THREE YEARS! (sorry for yelling)

Ok ready for some truth? I don't know how I feel about that 3 year thing though. Part of me is excited. Part of ( very big part is unsure). 3 Years is a long time. In 6 months I already started growing new polyps, a lot can happen in 3 years. Hm.

As for other things, 9.22 I have a local ( thank goodness) appointment with my colorectal for my yearly scoping of the j-pouch. It is too early to see any polyp growth in the j-pouch ( should see those start growing for about another 4 years) but I still have a few cm of rectal tissue left, which can turn cancerous at any point and needs to be regularly monitored.

Other non-FAP related things. Its 9.11. How can I bitch and moan, or even celebrate my good news? Puts life into perspective for you.

Tell your loved ones how much they mean to you.

*"few baby polyps" were the doctors words, not mine. Seriously doc, could you not have quantified that for me? How many is few? 2? 3? 4?! ANd baby? is that 1mm? 2 mm?! He will cc: me on a letter that he sends out to my local doctors which will have all the specifics. I'l just have to wait a month or so for those details.

Hi-Ho The Dairy-Oh

2009-09-07T20:04:00.003-04:00

It's off to Mayo I go. Again.

We leave eeaaarly tomorrow. My appt. is Wednesday. 09.09.09 That date looks lucky right?

By the time I am safely tucked back in my own bed (hopefully by this friday) we will have logged around 1600 miles. Joy.

Honestly I don't know what to except. But here is to hoping that nothing is found.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tiring of this.

Sweet Primitive

2009-07-28T09:16:00.003-04:00

I love music. I probably have my parents to thank for a lot for of that. Growing up there was lots of time spent in the car (and I mean lots! I would love to know how many hours we clocked just driving around, not even counting the road trips from Florida to Philadelphia). And whenever we were in the car there was always music playing. I was 12 or so till I realized that yes indeed a car did run with out the stereo in fact being on.

My Dad also fed my love for overanalyzing the lyrics. Repetitively I would ask what a certain artist was singing about. I can remember being perplexed as a young kid about why would so many adults chose to sing about love, when there were so many other things to sing about! Then, one day I had the unfortunate accident to ask about Jimmy Buffet’s "Why Don’t We Get Drunk". Dad put and a straight face looked directly at his pre-teen daughter and honestly answered her question. But, I must say it was a long time before I had the gull to ask what another song was about after that (just out of plain fear of the answer!)

To help nurture this bond between us, Dad took me to my first concert. I was about 10 years old. Poor Dad, this would not have been his first choice for a concert. However, I wanted to go, who was he to discourage me? So, we went to an evening of New Kids on the Block. Honestly, I can remember being a bit disappointed. I can remember asking Dad many questions as we drove home. Like “What’s lip-syncing?” My love of NYKOB only lasted a year, then I was I was on to discovering much more in the world of music. (Ah, I was on a year or two away from the years of Grunge)

Well, Dad we have come a long way. It had been 20 years since that first concert together. And tonight we go see my all time favorite band. Again, you and Mom are going with me to see MY favorite group. Well at least this time, they have been my favorite for 14 years, instead of a few months.

Even though they are predicting a 50% of thunderstorms, that doesn’t take anything away from this concert. (Yeah we are on the grass too!) This will be Scott, Mom and Dad’s first Dave Matthew’s Band Concert. I am excited to share this with them.

Above all things

If kindness is your king

Then heaven will be yours before you reach your end

~Squirm, DMB

365 days

2009-07-22T07:00:00.001-04:00

One year ago today was the big day, the surgery, the proctocolectomy. The day I kissed that diseased, poor excuse for a lower GI tract, good-bye. That stupid colon, it couldn’t even call itself a colon! More like a forest, a forest of giant mushrooms. Or so I have been told. I never got to see it.

In some aspects, I can’t believe it has already been an entire year! It seems like it was not that long ago I was staring intently at the ceiling of my hospital room, just wishing it all to be over with already.

Then on the other hand, it seems like that surgery must have happened in another lifetime. I look at how far I have come. I went from barely being able to walk 200 feet to doing 5.5 mi hikes in the woods with no problem.

A lot of you ask, “How are you?” Well, the short answer . . . “Good!” I’m sure you are looking for more then a one-syllable answer though. I am just living my life. I am trying hard to be as normal as I can. And I’m trying very hard not to pay too much attention to all the statistics out there about life with FAP (which is easier said then done). In the end, I just remind myself to take it one day at a time.

Also I know some of are curious to what is on deck for me. Well besides enjoying the remaining last half of summer (Where the hell did the first half go, by the way?! It was only in the 60s last week!) I have two medical appointments coming up.

1. In Mid September I have an appointment with my colorectal surgeon. Just the 1-year anniversary scoping of the j-pouch. He’ll give the j-pouch a little look-see, make sure all looks good and check for the start of any polyp growths. Technically, we shouldn’t see the start of any polyp growth in the pouch for another 4 years. However, the 2 cm area connecting the pouch to the anus is still made up of colon tissue, and that area could grow polyps anytime and needs regular monitoring.

2. I also have another upcoming visit to The Mayo Clinic. This visit will be much like the past visits, except during the Mayo visit we had removed all the polyps and we’re hoping when he looks in there this time it will still be as clean as a whistle. If it is still clean (meaning no new polyp growth) then I will not have to come back to Mayo for a few YEARS! YES YEARS! But if he does see some baby fuckers, oops I mean polyps, starting to grow he will obliterate them with his laser gun (sounds like I’m joking, right? But I’m not. Really.) That would just mean that this is a bit more aggressive then we had originally thought (um, hoped?) and we will be visiting Minnesota more often then we had planned.

Again, I invite anyone, even (gasp!) anonymous readers, to ask questions. I plan to put them aside and when I have compiled a few of them doing a FAQ post again. You can send in the question via comments or via email (new feature, see the thing below that looks like an envelope? Send your FAQ directly to me!) Try me, ask anything. I dare you. No wait, I double-dog-dare you.

My name is zoom and I live on the moon. . . *

2009-06-18T07:56:00.007-04:00

My first birthday! Man I was excited. I was pretty much this excited when I woke up this morning too. That was until both of the animals pounced on me and I had to quick duck for cover to avoid being wiggled and boxed to death. You have to love my ginormous bald baby head in this picture.

Second birthday! Now those are some healthy tree trunks, er, legs! ( still have not had my 1st hair cut yet) (oh and I still have those healthy legs! yes Pup healthy!)

Third birthday at McDs! I look so innocent! (Note: Mom claims that I still had not had my 1st hair cut yet. )

Last night we went out to dinner at Bistro Bella Vita. Wonderful restaurant in downtown Grand Rapids that specializes in all local food. I will, however, be paying for my indulgences today. I choose to order whatever I wanted last night. So what if I knew it would make the j-pouch scream out in pain or react in protest? I didn't care if I had to pay the price today or not! It was my 3oth damn-it!

Since the food was so good I'll let you know, First up, cocktails! I had a pomegranate martini! For an appetizer we ordered the wild mushroom and goat cheese on flatbread. (Honestly, probably my favorite dish from the evening! And probably what I'll be paying the most for! Darn flat bread.) Main course I had the Paella. So, good! (Oh wait I just remembered I brought home leftovers, oh and now I just remembered I already ate all the good stuff out of the left overs!) With the paella my waitress paired me a nice glass of white wine. I have no idea what kind. I'm not a big fan of white, so she did the pairing. I wish all restaurants could do that for you. And the dessert! Lemon cheesecake on a pine nut crust. Yeah I am happily paying the price today. Completely and utterly worth it.

*WTF is up with the title right? Well when I was about 6 maybe, my Aunt Nancy bought my brother and I these tapes with this birthday song on it. Every single year since then, ANdy and I have sang this song for each other. Sorry, Scott says it is one of our odd sibling quirks.

"My name is Zoom
And I live on the moon
But I came down to earth
Just to sing you this tune
Hey, stephanie,
It's your birthday today!

A present for you
I wanted to find
An outerspace creature
A one of a kind!
A wild whop or a kukelchoo,
An apple drop or a buzzardstew
Or maybe a 3-eyed tickleshay
For your birthday"

The Birthday Week

2009-06-15T06:54:00.006-04:00

Here at the Stolen Colon house, we don’t just celebrate your birthday on the actual day; we celebrate all week long! (Don’t you wanna come live with me? Well at least for the week for your birthday day, huh?) Last weekend kicked off my thirtieth birthday week celebration. So far we have grabbed lunch at an eclectic delicatessen place that usually has way too long of a wait for Scott’s patience. (Marie Catribs, for my Gr’s peeps.) Then we spent most of the day Saturday walking around my Alma Mater, just hanging out taking some pictures (which all turned out crappy, must learn how to take better pictures in craptastic lighting) and visiting local haunts. Later we spent a few hours visiting my niece and nephew. Oh yeah, and their parents!

I know I’ve joked in the past about being a bit freaked about the approaching big three-oh. But really I’m not. Honest. I welcome this and every birthday I am blessed with from here on out. After the last year, I have new outlook on birthdays. They are a blessing, not something to dread or hide from. So on Thursday I will not cry. (You hear that Dad, unlike you I won’t cry!) I won’t moan or mope. I will cheer. I will celebrate. I will climb on my roof and shout! (ok for those of you who have actually seen me attempt to stand on a roof, know that last statement was a lie.) I will toast having made it through this past year. I will party like I am turning 30 or something.

To be honest, sometimes I do feel just a bit surprised that I am 30. I mean what ever happened to 26? Seriously did I sleep through fours years of my life or something? Did I lose them? I had assumed by the time I was 30, I would have done so much more. Finished having kids, seen the world, have had some important career. Oh well.

So I am not where I thought I would be. Hey I never thought I had cancerous bullshit growing inside me either. Life can throw you for loops; it is just all in how you roll with it.

So, what’s on deck for the rest of the three-oh weeklong celebration you ask? Well, Scott is cooking dinner all week (did you read that honey?) Except for when we go out for our fancy meal. Still haven’t decided on where for that yet. (Gr peeps, any recs? Feel free to leave them in the comments! I’m looking for local owned place, doesn’t have to be fancy.) Then we will probably head up to the cottage for the weekend.

See weeklong celebration doesn’t really mean I am super spoiled. It is just fun to say, “Buuuuut, do I have to? It my birthday week!” I mean it's not like I get gifts everyday of anything.

So, you may be asking yourself "what's with the picture of the horse hooves Steph?" Well, let me tell you. A. I took this picture over Memorial Day weekend and I like it. B. It's my birthday week!

A 1/3 life crisis?

2009-06-04T05:50:00.006-04:00

I chopped off all my hair. Actually I didn't do it, but my awesome stylist and good friend Erin did. I had it with my hair. It just wasn't meant to be long. It was brittle and would break if it was in a pony tail. Plus it just wasn't healthy. It wasn't really growing at all either. And I was sick of the hair monster in the shower. (I know I know my hair monster is NOTHING compared to when you are on chemo. And yes I thank my lucky stars daily for that.)

Anyways, did I lop off all my hair, because it looked crappy from nutritional deficiencies through out the past year? Maybe. A Result from the stress? Perhaps.

Or was the spur of the moment cut all the hair off, a result of an impending birthday, one that ends in a 0? Ah, most likely.

So for your viewing pleasure here are a few pictures of the new do.

The Boss Man and I. And excuse the silly face, I was trying to get a good smile out of him. But the thumb won that one.

Look close and you can see Dexter Cat makes a cameo.

Anniversary of sorts

2009-05-29T09:15:00.004-04:00

One year ago, last Wednesday was the one-year anniversary of my first colonoscopy. (And last colonoscopy, given that I no longer have a colon). It had been many years in the coming.

Before hand, the GI told me he was very confident he would not find anything. He had mentioned before hand that if in fact it was cancer, then I would already be dead. Great.

For some reason, I have a very high tolerance to the knock you out drugs they use before these procedures. (Anyone else have some LL Cool J now stuck in their heads? Or is that just me?) They tend to have a difficult time getting me out and then keeping me out. It is a common occurrence for the nurse to say “Oh my, you’re still awake?!”. This colonoscopy was no different.

I was very conscious at the start of the procedure. I was interested in watching the TV screen, where the camera that is inside you projects what it sees. I wanted to see what was going on in there too. But very early on the Dr. exclaimed “HOLY . . . OH MY . . . “ And then the nurse said “Oh dear . . .” and then blocked my view until the latest does of drugs kicked in.

When I awoke (great now I have that Phish song in my head) in the recovery room my mother-in-law, Becky was there waiting for me. Scott couldn’t be there due to his job, plus we didn’t think we were going to find anything so. . . well . . . definitive. Even though I was groggy to all get out, I knew the instant the doc walked into the room that he did in fact found something. The way he pulled up a chair, the way he looked at me, his voice. Then those pictures. He said he normally only takes 3 pictures. He took 30. You could not deny the pictures. Hundreds upon hundreds of the monstrous, ugly, things growing inside me (and man did that thought creep me out for months to come!)

Thank God Becky was there with me. At this point, my brain checked out. The doc now sounded like the teacher on Peanuts. But Becky was there, taking in everything that my brain no longer would. Thank you Becky. You have been there for me since day one of this journey!

Contrary to what previous post may have lead you to believe I am not a big prayer, only when I am scared really. I prayed before this colonoscopy, even though I don’t remember really being scared. Apprehensive maybe. I told God, I just wanted a name, a word, a reason why I had the problems I had. I didn’t want to go through the procedure and then have the doc say he still had no idea what was causing everything. I think I need to be more careful what I pray for, or maybe how I word it at least.

Moment of Grace

2009-05-16T12:33:00.005-04:00

I was on a walk in the woods with Grace, commiserating in my bad mood. We had snuck out for a quick jaunt between rain showers. The sky was as gloomy as I felt. As we walked, the earthy pine smell infiltrated my soul and Gracie's bouncy spirit became contagious. Just then, a small break in the cloud cover allowed a stream of beautiful and much needed sunshine in, and in that same moment, a DMB song popped in to my head.

Lately I've been feeling low

A remedy is what I'm seeking

Take a taste of what's mellow*

Come away to something better

What I want is what I've not got

But what I need is all around me

Reaching searching never stop

-Jimi Thing

As a child I was raised Catholic. I was taught to pray to God every night. Kneeling next to my bed with my hand clasped, I'd asked this ominous being to bless all my loved ones, right down to the current favorite stuffed animal. I’d usually ask this great being for either guidance or plain help. Possibly with a fight with friends (which at time felt like a life or death situation) or an upcoming test (especially math, or for that year in 7th grade, English. That was the year a teacher told me I was an absolute horrid writer. And whatever I did to never let anyone read my writing. Because in her opinion, I was that bad.) After finishing my so-called praying I’d silently wait to hear back. Waiting for some deep booming voice to say "Stephanie . . . be nicer to your brother. Stop calling him fatty fatty two by four." Or "Stephanie . . . the answer you are seeking is . . .” Or “Stephanie . . . your English teacher doesn’t know shit.”

When I never heard back, I kind of, well, gave up on the whole trying to talk with God thing. I felt it was too one sided. Why didn’t he answer me?

As I've grown I have learned God doesn't answer in such direct pathways. I also learned, she has a bit of a sense of humor. But that is a story for another day. The sun is breaking through the clouds again. Time for Gracie and I to go get some exercise.

*Yeah, yeah, I know what your thinking. Another Dave Matthews quote?! Really, I wasn’t planning to quote DMB again. Seriously. However, I couldn’t help it for this time. I’m sorry.

**Ok so I know the normal lyric is “take a taste of what’s below” but in the version in my head, that is what I heard.

Green-eyed Monster

2009-05-07T10:08:00.008-04:00

Someone close to me just announced some wonderful news. And I am so extremely happy for them, but deep down in a dark corner of my heart that green-eyed monster reared his ugly head. We are at the age where it seems like everyone around us is expanding their families. Every time I turn around, I am faced with someone's perfect belly bump. I want nothing more then to have a baby of my own. Before I was diagnosed with FAP, we were "trying" and upon receiving the news of my health that "trying" was put on hold.

Recently we started the information search on Pre-genetic diagnosis (PGD) and in vitro fertilization. The PGD would give pretty good odds that our child would not inherit FAP (otherwise its 50/50). However, it is not a simple process. Nor is it cheap. It is a small fortune. It is tuition to a good college!

The other night I broke down in my first "it's not fair" pity party since last June. That inner child inside me whined "I waaaant a baby!" With the help of Scott and Gracie (and 1/4 a pan of double chocolate brownies*) my pity party was short lived. Scott and Gracie always manage to make me smile no matter how blue I might be feeling.

Scott and I have some tough decisions ahead of us. But for right now I need to remember to live in the now. Worrying and feeling sorry for myself won't change anything. It is what it is.

So for the two of you who just announced your exciting news, I am so very very happy for you. Honest.

*And I wonder why I weigh more now then I did pre-surgery.

**After a bit of debate, I decided to be completely honest with my feelings. A lot of us will feel a little sting of jealousy when some one is getting something that would love to have. It all just comes down to how you deal with the jealousy. I am choosing to acknowledge it, and then send it packing. I know this subject paints me in less then perfect life. But like you I am human, none of us are perfect.

The Pepto Dance

2009-04-29T20:00:00.004-04:00

While trying to decide which pictures to use on Wednesday’s post I came across this one and I decided it deserved a post all of its own.

You are probably are probably asking yourself “why does Steph have a picture of her wedding rings with pepto-bismol?” Well let me tell you.

This was before my FAP diagnosis. Back when visiting my college’s health center, where I was told my symptoms were caused by stress. Alternatively, while visiting my family health practitioner, that it was from too much spaghetti sauce. Or when I pursued some holistic answers and was informed it was because I was out of balance. Oh and I can’t forget the countless times I was asked to take a pregnancy test. Every single time I went to a doc and complained of my symptoms, I was asked, “could you possibly be pregnant?”
“No doc.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yup, I am sure.”
“Are you 100% positive that you couldn’t be pregnant?”
“There is no way I could be pregnant.”
“Well okay then . . . lets just have you take a pregnancy test to to rule that out.”

Three years ago, before I had a name to what was wrong with me, Pepto was my bff. I never left home with out it. While getting ready for my wedding, I asked my maid of honor if she would put some pepto in her purse for me. At this point, we may have had a glass or two of champagne. So naturally, we broke out into the pepto-bismol dance. ( Come on, you know the pepto-bismol dance!) My photographer thought we were hilarious and possible a bit crazy. He ended up doing the standard “wedding rings shot” with the pepto; you know to personalize it (I guess).

San Souci*

2009-04-29T07:00:00.000-04:00

Three years ago today, Scott and I ceased to live in sin. We were married seaside in beautiful Jamaica. 30 family members chose to join us there and celebrate with us.

Really, he wasn't so nervous he was sweating. It was hot, like really hot. I swear.

I love you, Scott. Here is to many more.

Hey , my love, you came to me like

wine comes to the mouth

Grown tired of water all the time

You quench my heart and love

you quench my mind

Celebrate we will

Because life is short but

sweet for certain

We're climbing two by two

To be sure these days continue

The things we cannot . .

~DMB "Two step"

(*The name of the resort we stayed at was San Souci, French for "No Worries".)

H 2 uh-oh

2009-04-27T19:09:00.004-04:00

“If it’s yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown flush it down.” That was our anthem for the weekend; see we had no running water. A pipe had burst over the winter, and instead of flooding the entire lower level, just so we could have water, we shut off the water to the house.

Ok no biggie we thought. We can get drinking water from the store. And the cottage is on a lake! We’ll just haul up lake water to use to flush the toilets. This all would have worked out just fine, if I were a normal person, a person with a colon. But nope, not me I have a j-pouch! It definitely did not help matters that on Saturday I had a hugmongo 4 course dinner! (Hmm. I had warm ciabatta bread with balsamic dipping oil, a fresh salad with goat cheese, walnuts and dried cranberries. For the main course, there was grilled salmon with a baked potato. Oh and dessert! Cherry pie, a la mode of course. Hey leave me alone it was our anniversary dinner! If you are ever in the Higgins/Roscommon area, I highly recommend Gates Ausable Lodge. Hands down the best food around! Just note it is BYOB)

To work the toilets we would haul up 2 buckets of lake water at a time. Two buckets would allow us 2.5 flushes. So out in the rain we would go. Of course, the j-pouch was more active then normal (I am sure that my freakishly large meal had nothing to do with that. Ha!) It is fair to say we were venturing out to fill up the buckets a bit more then we originally expected.

I only slipped and fell once. (Yeah that is good for me.) The worse part of it all was having to roll up our pants and wade out into the lake to where it was deep enough to fill the bucket. Damn that water was cold.

But you know? Even with no running water, an overactive j-pouch, and crappy weather it was all worth it. And I’d do it again. My only regret was not noticing the carpet downstairs getting soggier and soggier sooner. (Sorry Dad. Seriously we feel really bad about that.)

Weathered

2009-04-26T19:17:00.004-04:00

Dear Meteorologist,
You predicted mid 70's with a 30% chance of rain showers in the evening. Could you possibly have been anymore wrong? (Well yeah, I guess if it would have snowed, which at times I thought it might, then you definitely would have been more wrong.) It was in the 30's and it never stopped raining, for two days. Not just a little rain either; we’re talking sheets of rain. I know that weather prediction isn't a 100% accurate or anything. But seriously, you didn’t even come close. Maybe you can work on your accuracy for the summer season.
Thanks,
Stolen Colon

Even with the craptastic weather, our weekend was good. It was definitely eventful, but good nonetheless. More on that later.

Solitude

2009-04-24T10:13:00.006-04:00

And we are off . . . up north we go. Life has been a little tense, to say the least, at the Stolen Colon household. As some of you know, my husband works for one of the big three. (Ha! Isn't that moniker ironic?!) There is an endlessly vibrating crack berry, cnn's never ending news ticker, and the incessant emails. The stress behind it all has caused less then stellar moods, for both of us. We are a team, what effects one of us also effects the other. (Which is good point to anyone suffering through an illness, it is not just you, who suffers. Our loved ones often suffer, silently, right along with us. There is a stress on our caretakers that we commonly don't recognize.)

So, what do we do here when the stress becomes unbearable, pack our bags and head north, to our solace. No crackberries, no news, no emails . . . just peace (well at least for 2 days).

This will be Gracie's intro to "The Cottage". I know she'll love it, it was/is Koda's favorite place on earth. Gracie and I plan to blow by my previously set record of a 1 mile hike. There is just something about being in the woods. The crunch of pine needles beneath my feet, the fresh scent, just the solitude of it all, it is the best way to recharge my batteries and to get in touch with myself.

Also next week is our wedding anniversary. This weekend, I will reconnect with the person I fell in love with. It's easy in the hustle and bustle of life to take someone for granted. We need to remember to occasionally look at each other as if it is the first time we saw each other.

When I step into the light my arms open wide

When I step into the light my eyes searching wild

Would you not like to be

Sitting on top of the world with your legs hanging free

Would you not like to be ok, ok, ok

When were walking by the water

Splish splash me and you taking a bath

When were walking by the water

Come to my toes to my ankles to my head to my soul

Then I'm blown away

~Lie in Our Graves by DMB

Signs of Spring

2009-04-12T13:29:00.002-04:00

Gracie and I have been trying to get out hiking whenever the weather allows it. Unfortunately, here in Michigan that is not as often as I would like. There is something about being out in the woods, where it smells earthy fresh and I'm surrounded by solitude. It is one of the few places where I can feel fully at peace with everything. No matter what my mood may be like at the start of the hike, by the end I exit the woods feeling calm and tranquil.

We hit a new record today, we covered approximately one mile. May not sound like much to you but let me tell you this isn't just flat surface we are hiking on. I am pretty proud of myself. Only one month ago I was only able to cover maybe half a mile and even then I had to take multiple breaks.

On today's hike, I noticed there are a few subtle cues that Spring may be coming.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Easter.

I guess it was bound to happen

2009-04-05T14:04:00.004-04:00

At least it was just me and Scott. I should have known better. Last night, in celebratory form I made baked bananas with an orange caramel sauce all over vanilla ice cream. I ended up paying for that through out most of the night. But hey my Spartans won, I deemed it worth it. Then this morning I had a delicious italian frittata. So good. And to top it all off we were having a leisurely Sunday drive while drinking a grande coffee. I guess that was 3 strikes against me.

My poor husband, the things I subject him too. Thank God, it was him with me. Could of been worse. It could of happened while out in a crowd or in yoga. Oh the things I'm thankful for.

Go Green!

2009-04-04T13:17:00.003-04:00

On the banks of the Red Cedar,

There's a school that's known to all;

Its specialty is winning,

And those Spartans play good ball;

Spartan teams are never beaten,

All through the game they'll fight;

Fight for the only colors:

Green and White.

Go right through for MSU,

Watch the points keep growing,

Spartan teams are bound to win,

They're fighting with a vim!

Rah! Rah! Rah!

See their team is weakening,

We're going to win this game,

Fight! Fight! Rah! Team, Fight!

Victory for MSU!

I miss her.

2009-04-03T16:10:00.004-04:00

Dearest Koda,

One year ago (tomorrow) you left this physical world. You were too young, just about to turn 5. Our time together was too short. It wasn't suppose to end this way.

It eats me up inside when I think about your death. So alone, so painful. It kills me that I wasn't with you, holding you in my arms. I'm so sorry baby. I should of listened to my instincts and never left you that weekend.

I will never forget the day you choose us to be your forever family. Even though we had no intention of bringing a dog into our home, we stumbled upon you. When I first laid eyes on you I yelled "oh shit!" because deep down inside I knew you were meant for us. I was being too responsible, "our apartment is too small" "I work too many hours", but you quickly changed my mind when you jumped onto the picnic table, placed both paws on my shoulders, looked directly into my eyes and then proceeded to lick my entire face. I then admitted what my soul already knew, we were meant to be together.

Not a day goes by that my heart doesn't ache for you, but I try to cherish all my memories. The good, like when we would be home alone and you would jump up in the bed to sleep with me, but when I would finally drift off you would sneak off to your bed. Or your uncanny ability to read my emotions, and give me exactly what I needed at that moment like a face full of kisses or some good deep belly laughs. And the bad, like the time you climbed up on to the kitchen counter and found the food coloring and then decided to dye your white body a rainbow of colors. Or like the time you shredded 48 rolls of toilet paper. When we walked in it looked like it was snowing and there you were in the middle of it all, looking so proud and wiggling your nubbie.

Thank you. My life wouldn't be what it is now if you weren't once a part of it. And thank you for leading us to Gracie Mae. While she will never fill the hole in my heart she has taught me to love again.

Thank you for coming in to my life. You brought so much light and love, I can't imagine those years with out you in them. You have forever left your paw print on my heart.

I love you Koda Marie. Until we meet again.

Colon Cancer Awarness

2009-03-24T16:10:00.003-04:00

I'm a bit ashamed it took me till the last week of March to write this, but better late then never. March is Colon Cancer Awareness Month. The blue star is the symbol of hope for a cure for colon cancer.

When you combine men and women, colorectal cancer is the second most commonly diagnosed cancer and the second leading cause of cancer death.
With regular screenings, colon cancer can be found early. Screenings can even prevent it by removing polyps.
Unfortunately majority of colon cancers are not found early.
A colonoscopy is not that bad. Seriously. Get over it if fear is your excuse.

If you see blood in your stool or have had a change in popping habits, talk to you doc. Don't be embarrassed, they have seen and heard much worse. Do not let them blow you off, tell you your too young or don't have any risk factors. Or my personal favorite tell you that it is just spaghetti sauce (I really hope I get to run into that doctor some day).

Vernal Equinox

2009-03-20T15:54:00.003-04:00

At 7:44 this morning spring arrived! Thank God. I really hope Mother Nature got the memo. Officially our days our now longer then our nights! This just means I'm one step closer to cottage season.

I attended yoga again today. Ah. So relaxing and strenuous all at the same time. I was a bit nervous though. We did a few shoulder stands (for my non-yoga readers it's like a head stand, but on the back of your shoulders. Or just click here.) As you may remember, I use to have to be upside down to help release gas. The whole time I was in the shoulder stand I had an internal convo with my insides. "Ok j-pouch, please oh please don't think this is the right opportunity to release any gas. If you do this for me I promise not to subject you beer too often." I really shouldn't have had brussel sprouts with dinner last night.

The Hops Experiment

2009-03-17T19:42:00.006-04:00

Hope everyone had a nice St. Patty's day. I decided today to celebrate the O' Tool and McPeak parts of me. What better day to test out a beer on the new plumbing then St Patty's Day? We started off hunting for a good place to have a Guinness and some Irish food. But we quickly realized, however, that we have out grown the St Patty's day bar crawl crowd. Ah, growing up. Since the weather was beautiful (70˚!) we ended up on our back deck with some Magic Hat #9.

The beer went down smoothly. But since going down, it has started a bit of a riot in the gut. Nothing painful, just A LOT of noise and some uncomfortableness. I am foreseeing a lot of gas (which a true pain in the ass with a j-pouch) and possible multiple nightly trips to the bathroom. Worth it? I suppose, but something I want to do all that often. I think I am going to stick to vodka (Tito's, BEST vodka. Ever.) or wine when I feel the craving for a drink.

The thing I liked most about my beer today, the message under the cap.

May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind always be at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

and rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

-Irish Blessing

Zen like

2009-03-13T15:04:00.002-04:00

Went to yoga today. It was the first time since, well you know when. And it felt incredible! Before going I was quite nervous. Much like a self-conscious teenager before a first date. I had a horrible case of the "what ifs". What if I couldn't do the poses? What if everyone was more advanced then me? What if my insides roar (like they commonly do and man is it loud! I have even been known to spook the pets)? What if all the bending and stretching causes my insides to go into overdrive and I have to run to the bathroom every five minutes? Well lets just say that none of that happened (well except the part about everyone being more advanced then me, but so what. It ended up not being a big deal. If anyone even noticed I doubt they cared.) It is like the saying "90% of what you worry about never even happens".

In the beginning I told the instructor that I had abdominal surgery 6 months ago. She was wonderfully responsive. She took the time to help me with poses that I struggled with, give me encouragement when I needed it and show me variations that would be a bit easier with my decreased range of movement.

So for one and a half hours in an overly warm room I bended stretched and moved in ways I haven't in a long time. (The overly warm room was a wonderful break too, since March has decided it would rather be a winter month.) While my muscles took turns yelling in protest at my newfound movements, I was able to get back in touch with me. I realized while stolen colon is (part of) me; I am not just stolen colon. It is easy when you have been through something that impacts your life to loose yourself and forget that you are not defined by that event.

As I walked out of the studio, damp with sweat and with every muscle in my body shaking, I left inspired and remarkably at peace.

All good

2009-03-10T11:23:00.007-04:00

Had a check up with the Colorectal this morning. It was good news all around. He said I am still an anomaly. Since I have constipation issues, most j-pouchers can't stop going. But he said if I'm ok with it that it is all good. And the best part. . . I don't have to go back for six whole months! At that time he'll do a flex sig (like a colonoscopy, without the colon). He'll check on the condition of the pouch and check for polyp growth.

The only thing I wasn't to happy with was my weight. Holy smokes! Lets just say I gained back all my post surgery weight loss, plus more! At least that is a very fixable problem. I'll be calling yoga studios this afternoon. And I want to start using the treadmill more regularly. Once I get in a bit better cardiovascular shape (and can go up a flight of stairs without my heart beating in my ears) I plan to do the couch to 5K plan. I did it last year and loved it.

With spring right around the corner, I will be getting outside more with Gracie. We had a couple nice days last week, and Gracie and I went on a couple little hikes (with lots of breaks). It was her first time in the woods, and she a bit spooked by it. She had to check out every twig snap and leaf rustle. Also she didn't know what to think about me not making her walk right next to me.

I gotta tell you all, I am pretty happy. Things seem to be going well with my health. Better weather is on the horizon. I have a job that I love (literally).

Life is good.

Saynora Polyps

2009-03-06T10:32:00.008-05:00

Home sweet home. It feels good to be back, with no polyps no less. On the trek over there we stopped for brunch in Chi-town to see my little brother. It is always nice when I get to spend a little time with him. (Hence where today's pictures are from).

So what's on my plate for medical b.s. you ask? Well, depending on what pathology finds in the recently evicted polyps, will determine a lot. But the thought is that they will only show dysplasia and no cancer. If that is the case, then I don't have to go back out to mayo for six months! Six whole months! At that point the doc will then be able to determine how aggressive the polyps are. If they are extremely aggressive, (and I have sprouted a few more) I would have to be packing bags and heading to Mayo at least every 6 months. But, and this is a huge but here, if they turn out to not be aggressive polyps (and I am still clean and clear), then I could feasibly go a few YEARS (years, people YEARS!) in between screenings.

Also this Tuesday I meet with my colorectal surgeon. It is just a 6 month post-op

check up. We plan to discuss what he thinks my screening schedule should be for the lower end. Surprisingly, the bottom half screenings are much easier to handle then the upper half. For my upper I am completely knocked out with a machine breathing for me, while the lower end I just undergo light sedation. Needless to say I will be completely ok with it if he thinks I need to under go scopes to the j-pouch and bottom part of the small intestines more frequently.

Well, it is absolutely gorgeous day here. Gracie and I are on our way out to enjoy a nice spring time hike!

Polyp free

2009-03-04T08:53:00.002-05:00

A quick update. Yesterday's procedure was a success. The doc removed the polyps. He also found a new baby one that was starting that he blasted to smithereens. And he found about 4 mm growth on the area he worked on last time. So he removed that too. The question is, did that spot get missed last time? Or was it already growing back? Either way it is gone gone gone.

I am incredibly sore, but good. It feels like someone used my body as a punching bag. I'll give more details in a later post. The polyps are on there way to pathology, and depending on what that tells us determines my screening schedule.

Thanks for the support and love.

Mayo adventure II

2009-02-27T13:07:00.008-05:00

Sorry for being MIA. I have been debating the future of Stolen Colon. But anyways, that is for another post. On with the news.

Well a few days ago I hit my 6 month mark! It has been 6 months (and a few days) since my first surgery. And I am happy to report that all is great! Things seem to be working good. The j-pouch has gotten the hang of it's job, and I know which foods it likes and others that will cause it to protest. Minus the fatigue and the new terrain on the abdomen, I am as good if not better then I was before! As I get back back into working out, the fatigue will start to vanish and maybe some of the tummy of yesteryear will return.

On other FAP related news, Monday we head out for another Mayo Clinic adventure. Bright and early Tuesday morning (six freaking am!) I'll be having another (final?!) surgery to remove the polyps on my small intestines. The surgery will be endoscopic, the camera and tools will be passed down my throat, through my stomach and into my small intestines. The doc will attempt to remove the growths and scrape up as much tissue as he can without puncturing the bowel wall. He will also check the edges of the area that he worked on last time. He needs to make sure he got it all and the edges are clean.

The hope is (and I'm feeling very confident) that we are still one step ahead of this disease and that the growths have not become cancerous. Hopefully, this goes smoothly and he is able to fully remove these last two buggers. And maybe I can get to go more then two months between surgeries!

If everything goes as planned I will be released later that same day, but I'll have to agree to stay in a hotel nearby, just in case. We should be heading back to Michigan by Thursday morning.

We decided not to drag the Grace Monkey along with us this time. It is not fair to her to make her sit in a car for 9 hours and then have to stay in a hotel room all day and night. She'll be getting a nice holiday at her previous foster mom's house. They have 3 of their own boxers (even though one of those boxer is big enough to count for two!) 1 boston

terrier and 2 foster dogs living with them. It will be a full house with Gracie there, but I know she will get the best care and will be completely spoiled!

And one other really exciting tidbit, last night Gracie passed her Good Canine Citizenship (CGC) exam! One of the proctors said she was one of the youngest boxers he's seen pass the exam. I am one very proud mama. Click here to learn more about the exam and what it entailed. Here are a couple photos of Gracie being well. . .Gracie. Hard to imagine that this goof was able to settle down and be serious for an hour straight during the exam!

Commence the two week countdown

2009-02-17T09:07:00.004-05:00

Hope everyone had a lovely Valentine's Day. Mine consisted of pomegranate martinis (yeah we don't have any martini glasses.) and three layer chocolate mousse (the picture of them turned out unappetizing so I'll spare you. Just picture three layers of chocolate mousse; white, dark and milk chocolate shaped as a heart) So good. I don't let j-pouch stop me from enjoying anything! (I had a little help from some lactaid and bentyl.)

Well it is 2 weeks away from my 2nd and hopefully final Mayo visit. I am really hoping that the doc is able to remove the last two polyps and that this is my last FAP related procedure. (A girl can hope can't she?!) There is always a chance that I may never have another FAP issue. My fingers are crossed that I have paid my dues.

The mayo visit in March is going to be a lot like the one at the end of December. The doc plans to remove the two remaining polyps, while they are extremely large they are not near the bile ducts so they should be a bit simpler to remove. My goal is to recover nicely from the procedure and not get my butt admitted for overnight surveillance again.

25 Randoms

2009-02-10T10:05:00.007-05:00

I know this is going around facebook. But since I am currently boycotting facebook I thought I would post this here.

25 random things about me.

I save one voicemail from each of my loved ones Incase something were to happen to them, I'll have saved a piece of them.
I don't do math. Math is like a foreign language to me. I don't even know my basic tables. I have to visualize a picture of each number (much like a side of a dice) and then I can do the equation. (I know the picture for 3 plus the picture 7 equals the picture for 10. Odd I know. I have no idea why my "pictures" just can't be the number itself.)
I believe that if I think the worse it won't happen. For example, if a someone was calling me really late at night and I had no idea why they were calling I would think of the worse possible reason for their call (an accident or something) that way the worse won't happen. Only once has this not worked, when Koda died.
When one light has multiple switches to it, I like them to be in the proper position. Down is off and up is on. It bothers me when they get out of whack and one switch is up but the light is off.
I love milage! I mile everywhere I go. I love knowing that it is 1.3 miles from my house to the grocery store or 10.2 miles to my work.
Growing up I went to 11 different schools in 12 years (1st through 12th grade).
My brother is my BFF. We are very close and always have been. Probably due to the fact we moved around so much.
I went through a stint where I wanted to be a truck driver. I'm not talking about when I was little either. I'm talking about when I was in college. I wanted to take a year or two and be a trucker. Just me and my dog traveling across the country.
Other things I wanted to be when I grew up: a bulldozer driver (we always lived in new construction so I saw a lot of them), architect, interior designer, graphic designer (this one I really regret not pursuing) and a mom.
I will only drive American. I am completely dumbfounded that more people don't purchase more American made especially with the economy the way it is. Yes it is more expensive but that extra dollar is going towards someone's pension or healthcare.
If I could I would take a year (or a summer really) and follow DMB ( Dave Matthews Band) across the country.
I have a guitar, but I don't know how to play it, yet. I did play the electric guitar for about 6 months while in Jr High. I could only play pieces of "Paint It Black" and "Dust in the Wind".
I am superstitious, hence no # 13. I also have to make a wish whenever a digital clock reads 11:11 and I commonly knock on wood (but only 3 raps, it has to be an odd amount of knocks).
If I won the lotto I would open a dog rehabilitation and rescue center.
At one time or another I have had 7 piercing. One in each ear, two more in the left ear, belly button twice and my tongue. The tongue was only for a couple months during first semester freshman year (at college). I think it was some strange independence thing. (Sorry Dad.)
I have two tattoos. And I may get another one day.
For a year, while Scott was going back to school, we lived in a "bad neighborhood" (and I really mean bad. My car was stolen, women were being mugged weekly and we lived across the hall from a bonafide crack addict. It wasn't uncommon to see him just standing in the middle of the hallway drooling.) When Scott was out of town, I would sleep with a butcher knife under my mattress. I don't know what I thought I would do. I mean did I really think 5 foot female holding a knife would scare an intruder away? Especially while her mean pitbull looking dog was attempting to lick the skin off him? (Koda wasn't a pittie, even though everyone in that apartment complex insisted she was.)
If I could change one thing about myself it would be my singing voice.
I use to think God messed up on me. I would tan (a lot) and bleach my hair. I thought I was meant to have darker skin and blonde hair and I hated my dark freckles. Then one day I realized that my coloring with dark hair, pale skin, light eyes and dark freckles is my heritage. Now I rock my natural beauty.
I don't do forwards. At all. So all you who send them to me, feel free to keep sending them but know I do not send them on. And so far my luck has pretty damn good if I do say so myself.
I taught myself to drive a stick shift. End of freshmen year, Dad dropped off my manual Wrangler and said "Here ya go." I learned by trial and error. Oh that poor transmission. I was then able to teach my brother when no one else could.
I don't know my left from my right. I must of missed that day in preschool. I have an hand trick to help me when I am telling someone directions.
I also mix up my lower case b's and d's. I have to do the "bed" trick. (Make and ok gesture with both of your hands, left hand makes a b while the right makes the d)
I knew right away that Scott what the man I was going to marry.
(Remember this is really #25, there was no 13) Until 6 months ago I had never been sick (sicker then the flu), never even used my health insurance, never been in a hospital, and I only saw a doctor every couple of years. Oh how the times have changed.

I hope you all don't think I am too odd now. But if you do, oh well then.

Welcome to the World Baby Cy

2009-02-08T09:58:00.007-05:00

I'm an aunt (again)! Baby Cy joined us Saturday February

1st. Weighing in at 6 Lbs 15 oz. We visited the new angel and his family yesterday. I loved getting to meet him and getting to spend more time with my niece Nia. But, I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a pang of jealousy in the pit of my stomach.

So very small.

Your big sister loves you very much Cy.

The beautiful family. I love you.

Dumpster Diving

2009-02-06T12:14:00.005-05:00

For a limited time only here is the picture of the new haircut. I'd guess about 6 inches got cut off. This picture gives the cut no justice, but it is the best I can do. I tried with my camera in front of the mirror but after a frustrating 10 minutes I gave up. It is a lot harder then I thought getting a good picture of yourself in a mirror. When I would finally get everything lined up right I would forget to smile.

File this next bunch under "life with a j-pouch". And warning it may be TMI for some.

The j-pouch can be a bit unpredictable, especially at night while in a deep sleep. Unfortunately I have to wear "protection" at night (No weirdo! Not that kind of protection, this kind. Which BTW are so much better then depends.) . Yeah it sucks and it is so not sexy but that, my friends, is how it is. Well, last night the lovely j-pouch decided to surprise me, and lets just say I was happy I was wearing protection when I awoke this morning. I guess that is what I get for eating Mickey D's for dinner.

Anyone who has a dog might know where this story is heading. . . Well after I cleaned up I guess I didn't shut the bathroom door all the way. Either that or Gracie has learned a way to open doors, which really wouldn't surprise me. When that girl has her mind set to mischief nothing stops her. It was oddly quiet in the house (another sign someone is up to no good), so off I went to find the little demon. And there she was, trash everywhere and of course she found the messiest nastiest articles to shred into a million little pieces all over my beige bedroom carpet. After I was able to compose myself and stop the dry heaving I cleaned up the mess. Thank God for the SpotBot (best $140 I have ever spent! FYI, a must have for anyone with a puppy.) After some elbow grease, a dog bath and a very long hot shower for myself everything is as good as new. Well kinda.

Gracie goes to camp

2009-02-03T13:47:00.005-05:00

After a full day at the new job I came home to a very rambunkous puppy. And that was after multiple potty breaks and a few play sessions. Scott worked from home for part of the day. I can't imagine how hyper she would be after a full day home alone, so today I looked in to doggie daycare. We went for our "interview" and trail day at Doggie Day Camp this morning. She aced her interview within minutes! (Basically they were just checking to see if she was dog friendly and had some doggie manners) You can check her out on the web cam if you want. She'll be there till 4 today and till 6 tomorrow and Thursday (last time I looked she was in indoor camp 3).

Minus coming home to an overly hyper puppy, my 1st day on the job was great! Charlie was an angel and we spent the day getting to know each other. If there was ever any doubt about going back to work for only part time there isn't now. I was wiped out yesterday! And pathetically my arms are a bit sore today. Now that is embarrassing. I guess after not doing much for six months any strength I might have had went straight out the window.

* I'll add a pic of the new hair as soon as I have a good one. It is remarkably hard to take a decent photo of yourself.

The Real Housewives of GR

2009-01-30T09:45:00.003-05:00

Tonight my girlfriends and I are having a little get together. Nothing fancy, just some food, fun drinks, a haircut or two and some good company. This marks my first social gathering post surgery. Previously, I have shied away from any social function especially those that involved food. Before now I didn't have enough trust in my new plumbing. Also until recently I didn't know how different foods would affect me.

I know a lot of you have wondered if I can drink alcohol. Yup I sure can. I can no longer drink beer though. (Actually, to be honest I haven't even tried beer. Beer can be rough on someone with a colon. I don't want to find out how it would be sans colon.) But so far I know I can handle wines and mojitos! I indulged in quite a few mojitos while in Florida last month. Hmm, mojitos.

The Gas We Pass

2009-01-28T15:25:00.005-05:00

Life is going pretty good as of lately. I start my new job on Monday. Gracie and I begin intermediate obedience classes tonight. I've adjusted to life with a j-pouch. And I no longer mourn for stoma stan. It looks as though life is finally starting to smooth out for me.

I even hit another milestone last night. . . while sitting on the couch I farted. Yup, you read that right! Tooting while in a sitting position was a major milestone! Up until last night, I was only able to expel gas if my pelvis was lifted higher then the rest of my abdomen. The only explanation I can give you is that gas rises.

There had been many nights where the pressure had built up so much inside me I thought I was going to burst a seam. One desperate night I realized that the most efficient way to expel gas was to do a headstand. Can't elevate your bum anymore then that! Soon it became common sight to see me doing a headstand in the middle of the living room while watching some prime time TV. Oh my poor husband. So, I am sure you all can imagine my (and Scott's) glee when I cut the cheese in a normal position.

With more and more normalcy returning to my life, I have started contemplating the fate of Stolen Colon. After some debate, I decided to add a poll. (See it is over there on the right hand side.) I would love to have my readers input on what lies ahead for Stolen Colon.

Squirrellllll?!

2009-01-27T12:18:00.005-05:00

Meet Dale. Quite the ballsy little squirrel. Came right up to our deck. It didn't even phase him when Scott would open the door threaten to go out there. Dale just thumped his tail. As in, "Come on big guy! You've got nothing on me!" I'm actually not to fond of squirrels, most likely due to the two not so pleasant run ins I've had with them. Once, during the college years, a squirrel chased me. He then tried to prevent me from entering my crappy rented house by coming after me each time I got close to the door. No lie. In a desperate attempt I threw my book bag at him and then I madly climbed onto the hood of my roommates car. For some idiotic reason, I assumed he couldn't get me if I was on top of the car. (Gina, Danielle care to back me up on this? I know at least one of had to of witnessed this spectacle.) And then there was the time, when Koda was chasing one, and the little bugger (the squirrel, not Koda) turned around and jumped on her face. After quite a bit of screaming (from me, Koda and the squirrel) and a ton of flailing around (again from all three of us) the incident ended with remarkably no harm to any of the three beings involved.

Sorry, I just had to share Dale with you all.

5 on Friday

2009-01-23T10:32:00.006-05:00

Little known fact, I collect quotes. Here are five random ones:

"Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be clam in your heart." -unknown

"Happiness is a journey, not a destination. . ." -Souza

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, your right." -Henry Ford

"The secret of health and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly." -Buddha

"Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it the more it will elude you, but if you turn you attention to other things it will come and sit softly on you shoulder." -Thoreau

Good New, take three.

2009-01-22T11:14:00.003-05:00

Are you ready for the third installment of "Good News"? Wait for it. . . wait for it. . . I got a job! Yup! And not just any job, I'm going to be a nanny for the sweetest baby boy, Charlie. I'll be working part time, just 3 days a week. I couldn't imagine a more perfect job.

Those of you who know me, know how much I love being a nanny. I love to love and I absolutely adore children. I am overjoyed that I found a nanny job that works out so well for me. When I got diagnosed with FAP, I had to leave my previous nanny job. I was unable to keep up with the time (sometimes over 50 hours a week) and energy they needed from me (3 kids under 4, can you imagine?!). I am so excited to be returning to the profession I love, but with much better terms.

I was a bit nervous about finding a job. Between the FAP and the j-pouch I have a few "issues" that I thought may make it difficult to find a job. Of course, I have that impending second trip to Mayo. And I can't forget about my bathroom habits. I couldn't imagine a job where I was only allowed to go to the bathroom on a lunch break or something. I was also concerned with my energy levels, I don't think I could handle a job that required me to be on my feet for 9 hours straight. But being a nanny for an infant? Perfect! And a damn cute one too.

I feel very blessed that Charlie's family wants me to be his nanny. They know all about me, and are very understanding. My first day of work is Feb 2nd, and I can't wait. I have never been this excited to start a new job!

I am pleased to introduce you to my new boss, Charlie:

And another positive? Gracie is very relieved that she is no longer my only model.

Good News Part Deux

2009-01-21T10:00:00.004-05:00

I heard from Mayo. First off, the polyp that they removed from my ampulla showed only low grade dsyplasia (no cancer!). Yahoo! And it looks like I have a date for my next appointment. March 4th. So soon! It is quite a bit sooner than I expected. The doctor wants to check the area where he removed the polyp to make sure all the edges are clean. He will also attempt to remove the other two polyps that he couldn't get to last time.

Today's pictures are in honor of yet another day here inMichigan where we won't see the sun.

And no this is not the end of my "good news" streak! I still have more to come. . .

End of an Error

2009-01-20T09:27:00.007-05:00

Don't worry! I didn't turn into a popsicle in the arctic weather we had last week! Nor did I get buried in the 20 inches of new snow we got over the weekend. (We have gotten 89 inches so far this season, the average for the whole season is 72 inches!) I guess I just didn't have a lot to say. But don't fret because I have lots to talk about now!

The first half of last week, I was feeling good. I mean real good! I decided not to blog about it as I didn't want to jinx it. Turns out, I must of jinxed it anyways. But still where I am today it leaps and bounds better then where I was just a month ago. I have to say, living with this j-pouch is very doable. I no longer find myself wishing stoma stan was back. I probably average around 12-15 bathroom trips a day. And on average, I only experience those dreadful cramps in the evenings. Usually around 6 pm they start, but they aren't anything 2 doses of Bentyl can't take care of. How about that for progress, huh?!

I attribute a lot of my progress to eating a fruit or veggie with every meal. I had been cautioned about eating fruits and veggies. From what I've been told most people with a j-pouch don't tolerate them very well. I'm glad I threw that advice out the window. Also I have become much more fluent in my j-pouch's language. I understand a bit better the signals he is sending me. And he is learning his new job as a makeshift mini colon. (I have no idea why I think of my j-pouch as a "he". I just do. Maybe since he deals with, well, poop. That sure isn't a feminine thing now is it?)

And I have more good news, but you'll just have to wait. . . I can't just blurt it all out on a Monday now can I?

Alright, I must go. Time to grab my coffee and be glued to my TV and watch history be made. (yes did I tell you I can also handle coffee! Well small amounts of it and then I still have to up my H2O intake, but still. . .Coffee. Yum)

5 on Friday

2009-01-09T12:32:00.003-05:00

It has been awhile. Lets start this up again.

My new year's resolution this year is: To be as healthy as I can. With FAP, I basically have a higher chance of a bunch of lovely different cancers and I would really like to slow down or completely prevent the growths of any more precancerous polyps. So, I thought I would be preemptive. Since losing the old colon attempting to be "healthy" has been easier said then done. I have completely stopped all forms of exercises, and I would much rather curl up on the couch with a down blanket than do anything. It is much easier to eat highly processed prepackaged foods then healthy foods. So here we go, my plans for the future.

Eat a veggie or fruit with every meal. Basically trying eat different foods with colors from the full spectrum of the rainbow.
Walk everyday. Gracie would enjoy this too. But here, in Mi in the winter, getting outside is not always an easy or enjoyable task. That's ok, Dad sent us home from FL with his old treadmill. Now if we could only find away to get it inside. (yes we made the 22 hour dive home in a Liberty, with 2 adults, 1 dog, way too much luggage and a very large treadmill. It was tight to say the least.)
Yoga at least three times a week. Right now while funds are not just low but completely nonexistent, I'll do yoga at home in front of the tv. I know Gracie will get a kick out of this and pounce on me every chance she gets. Maybe I can get her to do some downward facing dog with me? Once we reestablish the savings account, I would like to join a studio. We'll see. . .
Drink a bare minimum of 64 oz of water. And that is the absolute minimum! The majority of water I consume just goes right on through. The colon's main job is to absorb fluids (and those digestive juices, hence the pain of "butt burn").
Try to eat as little of possible of processed foods. The more hands that have touched it, the worse it is. No more packaged crackers, cookies, chips and all that jazz.

Think I can do it?

*Doesn't Gracie look nice in warm in today's picture? I picked it, since once again it is snowing here! I want to crawl into the picture with her and join her in soaking up the sunshine. Dear Mother Nature, The snow can stop anytime. Thank you.

Travelin' J-pouch

2009-01-07T14:50:00.007-05:00

Traveling a total of 50 hours in a car with a j-pouch and a puppy is a feat in of itself. Between the fact that they both got their own bags. Gracie's had toys, 2 days of food, treats, 2 bowls, poop bags, a leash, jerky style chicken breasts and some sam's yams (vegetable rawhides). While the butt bag contained all my restroom necessities. Two different hiney creams, Calmoseptine and Magic Butt Cream (MBC is a throw back from my nanny days. Equal parts desitin, maalox, lotramin. I swear by it), baby wipes, rubber gloves (it makes the application of said hiney creams easier to apply and more comfortable), antibacterial hand gel, antibacterial wipes (for those oh-too-nasty toilet seats, there is no hovering with a j-pouch) and a supply of charmin (come on, that cheap toilet paper is rough even on normal cheeks).

Between Gracie and I, we needed to stop at least every 3 hours, but we would push it towards every 4. And just FYI, whenever possible stop at the roadside rest stops. They tend to have cleaner bathrooms, which makes relaxing on the pot a bit easier, which in turn helps things to fully empty. And they have better places to encourage your dog to go. Nothing like standing on top of a plowed snow mound, in a parking lot, while it is -30˚ and trying to convince your whining, shivering puppy that yes indeed this is a perfectly good place to drop douce. Rest stops at least gave us a place to walk a bit, stretch her legs and burn off some of that puppy energy.

With all that said, I think Gracie and I both did very well on our adventure. I just can't imagine doing it again when she is bigger. As it was, we took up the ENTIRE vehicle (given is was a Jeep Liberty, but still!) Or maybe I just need to learn to pack lighter.

Why Not Me?

2009-01-06T10:36:00.003-05:00

Why Me? In the beginning, right after my diagnosis, I asked "Why me?" a lot. At one point someone responded to me with "Why not you?" That gave me a lot to chew on. Why am I any more special? Why shouldn't I have some suffering in my life? Why would someone else be any more deserving of this? The questions have gone around and around in my head. If at any point I started to feel bad for myself, I just thought "why not me?"

Recently the original question of "why me?" has progressed. But from a different angle. Now that once again I have narrowly escaped cancer, why me? Why am I so lucky? I see so many others being handed the the shit end of the stick. Why don't I have to suffer while someone else does?

It doesn't feel right.

I'm Baaaaack

2009-01-05T09:47:00.002-05:00

Did everyone miss me? We had an incredible time in Florida with my parents. We made it down there just in time for Christmas dinner. I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas present.

And all I have to say about Mayo is that I love it there! What an incredible place if you need great care. Everyone is very kind and the doctors are knowledgeable and extremely thorough. It is a good thing I like it there, because it looks like I'll be going back there every 3-4 months for awhile.

The procedure itself went very smoothly. The doctor was able to remove the polyp on my ampulla. The polyp was much larger then the doctor had anticipated and he was worried for a bit that he wasn't going to be able to remove it. But he did, thank God. He commented that it was one of the largest he'd seen. It came in measuring over 2.5 cm, and usually he doesn't even attempt to remove any over 2 cm. Due to the polyp's large size and the fact the doctor scraped the inside of my duodenum down the the never fibers, I was in A LOT of pain. I wasn't expecting any pain, so I was a bit surprised when I came to. I mean we are talking of a 8-9 on the pain scale. It took 100 mg of Fentanyl to make me even remotely comfortable. Due to the amount of pain I was in, they decided to admit me. The concern was pancreatitis or a bowel perforation. Luckily by morning it was neither of these, and I was allowed to go.

I need to go back to Mayo in a few months so the doc can check and make sure the edges are all clean and there is no remaining pieces of this polyp. Also I still have 2 more good sized polyps in there that need removed. Due to there sizes he thinks he will only be able to remove them a section at a time.

While I was in the hospital there I was speaking with the resident GI and she asked who my FAP doctor was. FAP doctor, what?! I guess at Mayo they have doctors who just specialize in FAP! I was blown away by this. So, when I'm out there for my next visit I am going to meet with one of these specialists.

Hopefully this week is my last week of doctor appts for a while. Tomorrow I meet with my colorectal surgeon, hopefully he agrees that everything is going fine. I also need to have my GI order an Xray for me. While at Mayo they placed a stent in my pancreatic duct, and we need to check that it has fallen out. Other than that we are just awaiting the path report on my polyp (which I am feeling very confident it will be benign). Then after all that I plan to stay away from the docs for a bit, hopefully until I head back out to Mayo!

Stay tuned for lots of pictures from Florida! All I can say is it was a good time had by all.

2008-12-24T12:44:00.000-05:00

Real quick update from Scott's crackberry. The main polyp was sucessfully removed. We had a minor scare afterwards and I was admitted for overnight observance. I was doing better this morning and was discharged. So now we are on our way to FL! I'll fill you all in on the details later, but for now it is FL or bust! Happy holidays!

No, thank you

2008-12-19T09:48:00.004-05:00

I just wanted to take this post to thank you, my beloved readers. Without you, Stolen Colon would have no point. It is nice to have someone there to "listen" to me rant and rave, to provide support, offer advice and to just laugh at (oops I mean with) me. It is your comments, letting me know you are out there listening, that help keep me going.

The blog averages around 150-200 hits day, Holy crap? How am I that interesting? All the same, thank you. You have helped to make this journey easier.

I always appreciate all the well wishes, good vibes and prayers. It is nice to know others are thinking of you and hoping for the best. So this big and heart felt thanks goes out to all the people I have never met in real life, the family members I have drifted from, the long lost friends I had lost contact with, the second cousins I haven't seen in 25 years, my support group of "nesties" and "P&Fer's", and my new online family of FAPers.

I hope everyone has a warm and wonderful holiday. I will post when I can. Hopefully, I will be able to update after the procedure at Mayo and let you all know I will be getting to keep my digestive organs, for a few more years anyways.

Peace Out.

Figures

2008-12-18T15:03:00.003-05:00

As of last Tuesday, I had to stop all NSAIDs (aleve, tylenol, etc) due to bleeding risks during next weeks procedure. And wouldn't you know it, I got a POUNDING headache. I guess that's life. I have completely slathered my forehead in HeadOn and I'm pretty much inhaling peppermint oil.

I'm getting pretty excited for Mayo. I want this done with, all behind me. I am ready to move on! Yeah I know I'll have to have screenings for the rest of my life. But, I want these polyps out of here. No more worry, if they are growing, invading my bile ducts. No more wondering if I look a little yellow today (jaundice is a sign that the polyps have invaded the duct).

And. . . wait for it. . . it is starting to looking like we might make to Florida after all! I really hope I didn't just jinx us. Things are looking good for the Stolen Colon Fam.

One Week Out

2008-12-16T10:30:00.003-05:00

This time next week, those buggers in small intestines will be meeting their match, hopefully. I am pretty excited for Mayo. We have found a doggie daycare that Gracie can go to on the day of the procedure. Since, it could end up being a long day at the hospital, we didn't want to leave Gracie alone in the hotel all day. We also have arranged for Mr Dexter Cat to have a nice holiday vacation at my Mother in law's. He loves Becky, and he will relish in some quiet time way from his always pestering little sis.

Just in case, we are packing some of warmer clothes. Um, no, not for Mayo. The high there today is only 6˚, brr. But maybe, just maybe, we'll make the 30 hour hike to Fl to see my family. (Where it is a toasty 84˚ today. Much more my style!)

Here is to hoping!

All I want for Christmas

2008-12-15T10:34:00.005-05:00

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl this year (well at least most of the time), and all I want for Christmas this year is for the doc at Mayo to remove the polyps in my duodenum. I really just want to avoid or at least postpone having the pancreatoduodenectomy (I am no longer going to refer to it as "The Whipple", as that is just too whimsical sounding for such a serious surgery. Very misleading.)

I promise to leave you some of my awesome peanut butter cookies, and I guarantee they will be the best peanut butter cookies you will have this year. With all of my crazy baking while in recovery mode I have perfected the peanut butter cookie. Chunky peanut butter, more peanuts, salt. Ah, the perfect mixture of salt and sweet.

Anyways I digress. . . So, if there is anyway you have some pull with the people upstairs, I'd really appreciate it this year.

Thank you.

PS. Your elf that was covering for you was a bit scary. He freaked Gracie out. First he hated puppy kisses, and then he told Gracie he'd mate with her. So, um, I just thought you should know.

Sexy Specs

2008-12-12T10:12:00.002-05:00

I feel a bit better after my pity party yesterday. It helped that a little elf gave me an early Christmas gift, an Ulta gift card. Retail therapy can lift even the most dire spirits. I decided I need a new nail polish, so I picked out a color that matched my Ebenezer attitude. Baby It's "Coal" Outside by Opi. A sparkly charcoal that throughly matches my mood.

Also I picked up my new sexy specs yesterday. Last week I paid the optometrist a visit. After many arguments with Scott over my poor passenger seat direction giving, I thought maybe I should have my vision check. Especially with the road trip looming in our near future.

Last weeks visit to the eye doc turned out to be quite the event. Besides finding out my eyesight is pretty bad and that I should be wearing glasses all the time, especially while driving. (The doc was surprised I was able to pass the vision screening at my last license renewal, I didn't inform I got lucky guessing half the letters.) I also learned that I have some manifestations of FAP in my eyeballs. (Can I please escape all things FAP for one week!?) Turns out I have a few CHRPEs (stands for Congenital Hypertrophy of the Retinal Pigment Epithelium. Yeah, CHRPE's, pronounced chirps, is much easier on the tongue) on each of my pretty eyeballs or actually my retinas. CHRPEs are much like freckles or birthmarks on the retina, and are present since birth. While all the reading I have done on CHRPEs, indicates they are a benign condition, my eye doc wasn't as laid back. He talked me into getting these crazy pictures taken of the back of my eyeballs, so we had the size and location of the CHRPEs on file. He was concerned if they grew or changed in anyway it would be a sign they are cancerous. So basically, he said it is now really important to go to my yearly eye doctor appt. if nothing more then to monitor these eye freckles. Oh yeah, and that super high tech eye ball picture taking, think insurance covered that?! Of course not.

After learning about my new FAP apparition, I had to pay. (I am seriously wondering what is the point of eye insurance at this point) As I whipped out my wallet to pay, I accidentally threw my back-up undies across the office. Life with a j-pouch doctrines that you must carry a back up pair of underwear with you at all times. You never know when you might read the new plumbing's signals wrong, and I have learned it is always better to be prepared. Over the next 30 seconds (which felt more like 10 mins.) I had to decide if I wanted to ignore the neon pink under-roos that were now sitting 15 feet away, or calmly say "excuse me" and saunter over to them and pick them up. If you're curious, I ended up embarrassingly walking across the office and cramming then back into my purse, the whole time with a matching pink face.

Bah Humbug

2008-12-11T09:44:00.003-05:00

Two weeks until Christmas. It sure doesn't feel like it. This suppose to be the "most wonderful time of the year". I'm just not feeling it this year. There is no holiday spirit at the Stolen Colon house. No tree, no lights, no holiday music, no gifts. . . What's the point? We'll be at Mayo over most of the holiday and my medical b.s. has eaten up all the finances that would have went to Christmas. Don't mind me, I am just throwing myself a Scrooge style pity party. Originally the plan was to drive to FL, to spend the holiday with my family. We have only spent one Christmas with my family in the last 7 years. I had high hopes that after the Mayo procedure, we could hop in the car and make the 30 plus hour trek to FL. But yeah, once I quite dreaming I realized that A. we might not get the a-ok to leave mayo in time and B. that it is contingent of Scott's job letting him have more time off. Ha.

And yes I realized I lied to you all yesterday. I had intentions of doing another post, but my pity party got in the way.

Today's picture is from Christmas at the lake last year.

The Final Exam

2008-12-10T11:22:00.006-05:00

Here are a few pictures from our "final exam" on the last day of puppy kindergarden.

Congratulations Miss Gracie! I'm proud of you, now on to the next level.

*There will be another post later today.

Cue the "Pomp and Circumstance"

2008-12-09T09:46:00.003-05:00

Last night was graduation from puppy kindergarden. Gracie passed with flying colors (of course). Originally, I had dreams of doing therapy work with Gracie. I saw Gracie and I visiting the residents of the hospital, especially children, and sharing some boxer wiggles and snuggles. Ever since my stints in the hospital, it was something I wanted to do. I pictured Gracie and I going through all the different levels of obedience classes and eventually ending with being certified as a Therapy Dog. But, as Gracie's personality has blossomed, I'm a realizing that therapy work might not be her cup of tea. She is a constant bundle of bouncing electricity. Being calm is not her strong point. Now something more energetic like Flyball might be more her style. (Video below has sound, just a FYI in case you are pretending to be working)

I guess I'll just have to wait till I adopt my over looked badly misunderstood rescued male pittie to do therapy work with me.

In other news, Bentyl is my miracle drug. The difference is day and night when I take it. When I don't take it I have very painful spasms and cramps in the j-pouch. Constant running to the bathroom with the sense of extreme urgency only to pass what is the equivalent of mouse turds. This will go on all day and night, equaling well over 30-50 trips to the loo. But, when I do take it regularly I'll go to the bathroom only 6-10 times a day and 1-2 times at night, fully emptying every time. No cramps, no spasms, no urgency. I love Bentyl.

Holiday, what?

2008-12-03T14:57:00.006-05:00

Recently I spoke with a nurse at Mayo about my upcoming holiday appt. The plan is to meet with Dr Gostout on Monday, the 22nd, to go over everything. Then Tuesday, the 23rd, is the procedure. The Doc is going to do an ERCP to make sure I am a candidate. And if he says all is go, then he will continue on and attempt to remove the polyps. All of this will be done under general anesthesia (like I had for the two main surgeries) instead of the sedation I am use to receiving for scopings.

I stumbled upon this article about Submucosal Endoscopy with Dr Gostout. If I am not mistaken, this is the procedure he is going to attempt with me. It is fairly interesting. Pay particular attention to the side pictures and text and the text under the heading "A Shift in Thinking".

We will be staying in Rochester from the 21st through the 24th. The doctor wants me to stay in town for a minimum of 24 hrs after the procedure in case of complications (but I am due to be complication free, damn it). I have a feeling this will be the extent of our holiday this year. I'm working on trying to find things for us to do/see/eat to help keep this from feeling like a ruined holiday. So, if I have an Minnesotan readers out there, any must sees or restaurant reviews?

Well, I must get back to Gracie. It is cram time. Graduation from puppy kindergarden is next week and we just hit the adolescent "I-do-what-I-want" and "I-can't-hear-you" phase.

2008-12-03T11:00:00.004-05:00

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for your concern for Gracie. I feed meaty raw bones as treats with the consent of my vet. As long as bones are NOT cooked and not weight bearing bones, they are perfectly fine. When they are cooked is when they are dangerous. However, I do not feel that my blog is the right forum to debate canine nutrition. I invite you to email me if you would like to discuss this further. I have many different websites and authors I could pass on to you if you are interested in learning more about raw feeding.

Thank you.

smahyes1@gmail.com

For the rest of you, I'll do another post later today.

Thanksgiving Recovery

2008-12-01T10:59:00.008-05:00

I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday weekend. Ours went well, but all that cooking and hosting really wore me out. I am also paying the price for the over indulgences too. I just took 2 Bentyls (the antispasmodic) and I plan to have a couch day (I also need to finish this post before the bentyl kicks in and I start getting loopy). It was all worth it though. On a whole the day consisted of a lot of eating, Playstation football and some more eating. And I got to feel like a real person again. I ate normal food, had no major pain and I even got to indulge in the bubbly. Everything was going smoothly in the kitchen, until I ended up taking a Bentyl, and then the next thing I knew the gravy exploded and I knocked over the 5 Lb bag of flour. Hey, at least I was entertaining.

Little Miss Gracie Mae got to enjoy the holiday too. She had her first raw turkey neck.* I guess even dogs can go into post-Thanksgiving food comas.

*Believe it or not but raw meaty bones are perfectly fine to give to dogs. Just never ever give cooked bones, they splinter and can do major internal damage.

cooking, cooking and more cooking

2008-11-25T18:29:00.006-05:00

Whoa, the day just escaped me! Must be all the cooking I am doing. Thanksgiving is at the Stolen Colon's house this year. Since I'm no longer a ball of energy, I am trying to do most of the cooking in shifts. I do plan to enjoy the holiday feast, well maybe not the feast part. I can eat everything except the mashed taters and green bean casserole, due to the dairy in them. I also have to eat very small amounts of food at one time. I guess I'll just be enjoying many mini thanksgivings through out the day! That actually doesn't sound too bad.

I met with my colorectal surgeon and his nurses today. Yup nurses, I got two of them since, as Dr. Kim put it, I am a mystery. Yeah! I stumped one of the premier colorectal surgeons. And I didn't even realize I was having problems. . . well kind of. Starting in the evenings I get these intense cramps. It starts by the old stoma site and migrates to the j-pouch area. And it will feel like I have get to a toilet. . . immediately. Once I sit on the throne, I only seem to produce a few mouse size turds. Sometimes this will go on for hours, and in the worse cases, through out the night. Eventually, I'll have a larger liquid movement and the cramping/intense urgency will disappear and I can fall asleep. I assumed (wrongly so) that this was just life with a j-pouch, and that my body was adjusting. Well not so much so.

After having a half hour conversation with the Doc and nurses (wow! I got is full attention of 30 mins, unbelievable!) I left with a prescription for Bentyl, an antispasmodic and orders to irrigate the pouch, daily. (I'll save you from the details on this. For now anyways.) I also was given strict orders, to call his nurse if I have any discomfort and not to just wait till my next appointment (which is in 5 weeks! Hopefully this means I get to go a WHOLE month before going back there. A new record. Um, I hope I didn't just jinx myself.)

And for today's tidbit Thankfulness. . . I am thankful for how blessed I am. Through this whole ordeal I have met a bunch of different people with different illnesses. I am constantly reminded of how lucky I am. In the whole scheme of things, I'm not sick. Yeah I lost an organ. . . but I avoided chemo right?! And I found a doctor who is going to try and save a few more organs and help me escape chemo again! The crap I deal with now is really just small potholes when compared to the craters that others have to deal with on a daily basis.

Just the fact that my FAP was diagnosed when it was is something in of its own to be incredibly thankful for. Just one more month could of made a world of difference.

Bittersweet

2008-11-24T10:37:00.005-05:00

Had an appointment with my primary doctor this morning. Partially to touch base, he likes to stay involved in my care, and also to discuss my birth control options. Prior to the

beginning of all this madness, we were getting ready to expand our family. But now knowing what we do about FAP and that any future children would have a 50% chance of having this disease our procreating has been put on hold, indefinitely. Those of you who know me, know how badly I want to have children. Out of everything I've been though, this is the hardest part.

And before you comment that:

"It's only a 50% chance." or
"cancer research has come so far, imagine where it will be in another few years." or
"you have FAP and you're ok."

I have already thought about these things. I am not saying that what we are choosing to do is written in stone, things may change. But right now, I don't know how I could knowingly risk putting a child through this. So far, I am very lucky, it can be a lot worse.

And yes, I know there are other options out there for adding on to your family. And when we are ready we will explore them. But one step at a time.

On another note, since this week is Thanksgiving, I wanted to include in each post something or someone that I am thankful for. There really is so much that I have to be thankful for. I am very grateful for all of my doctors, especially my primary, Dr Buckler. Dr Buckler was the 1st doctor in 7 years to actually listen to me. He was the one who referred me to the GI for a colonoscopy. He didn't laugh, placate me or not believe me when I told him I had blood in my stools. Dr Buckler, has also visited me, on his own time mind you, every time I have been in the hospital. He is always making sure that all of me, not just my GI tract, is being taken care of. Thank you Dr Buckler!

* Today's picture is of Gracie in her first snow. At first she was unsure of this white cold stuff but she loves it! It was near impossible to get a picture of her as she just kept sprinting through the yard.

It's official, like referee with whistle. Preach*

2008-11-20T14:03:00.005-05:00

Well I got the call and it's off to Mayo I go! Monday, December 22nd is the consult and then Tuesday the 23rd is the procedure. Yahoo! What a relief to have an actual date in writing. And maybe just maybe I'll be able to be somewhere else for Christmas (like I dunno maybe somewhere a bit warmer. . . Florida?**). I think I'll have to get the all clear from the doc to travel that far right after the procedure (I believe there are some bleeding risks) and Scott's job will have to cooperate too (now that is going to be the really difficult part). But who knows hope has now been restored in the Stolen Colon house!

*I can't take any credit for todays title. Credit belongs to the Snoop d o double g, as he left it on someone's voicemail.

** for non family readers, my parents live in Fl, hence the draw to be there for the holidays beside the warmer weather.

Nothing to report

2008-11-19T12:12:00.003-05:00

Nothing really new and exciting to report from the Stolen Colon household. We are still waiting for the official date from Mayo Clinic. Right now they are trying to arrange a date where not only does the doc has two back to back slots open (one for the consult and one for the procedure) but anesthesiology is also free. The plan is for the doc to sedate me and exam the duodenum via endoscope (camera down my throat). At that point he will be able to determine if these polyps can be removed endoscopically and if so he will attempt to remove them. That is really all I know, hence the point of the consult before hand. Last time I talked to one of his secretaries it looked like this was either going to happen December 24th or mid January. I don't know which is better. The 24th would at least fall under this year's deductible, but heck it it's Christmas Eve! Not exactly where I wanted to spend the holiday, but if it means these polyps can get taken care of then I am all for it! I wonder if Santa will be able to find me in Minnesota?

5 on Friday

2008-11-14T12:26:00.003-05:00

Foods I miss dearly.

Cheese. Warm creamy brie, tangy feta, smooth goat cheese on a crisp cracker, stringy mozzarella a top a pizza. I could go on and on. . .
Milk. Cool crisp glass of milk with a warm cookie. One side effect of the surgeries is that I am now severely lactose intolerant. You never realize how many foods have dairy in them until you have to avoid them.
Ice Cream. Soy Ice Cream just doesn't cut it. It is really just a sad joke. I almost cried while watching Scott enjoy some Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby the other night.
Vegetables. Man, what I wouldn't do for some roasted broccoli or asparagus right now. Hopefully down the road, I will be able to add them back in. But for now they cause more pain then they are worth.
Italian Food. I can't handle any tomato products or dairy. Think about it, that rules out almost all Italian food. (Incase you're wondering, tomato burns like no other)

I want to open the FAQ back up. I plan to incorporate them into a weekly Five On Friday. So. . . let it flow, let yourself go, slow and low, that is the tempo. (Brownie points to anyone who can name that tune, and Andy you don't count cause you are a freak of nature at this game.)

Colondar

2008-11-13T14:35:00.002-05:00

Struggling with what to get someone this holiday season? Why not the 2009 Colondar? This calendar features 13 incredible individuals, all survivors of colorectal cancer and all diagnosed under the stereotypical age of 50. Check out Mr February, Jon is a fellow FAP'er. And while you are at it check out last years hot Miss August, Becca, another Fap'er.

Just a little update

2008-11-11T08:13:00.004-05:00

Wow, do I actually have a week without a doctor's appointment? Amazing. Last Friday's scope and dilation went well. No major inflammation, and he dilated even though he said I didn't need it. My veins are getting harder and harder to get IV's in though. I'm average 4-5 pokes per visit. I've also developed quite a tolerance to the sedative. So now they have to give me the whole shebam to knock me out. Unfortunately that means I usually have no memory of at least half of the day. So, if I talked to any of you last Friday, yeah I don't remember it. Hope I didn't say anything too stupid, but if I did it is so not my fault. I finally said the "magic words" to my surgeon. I informed him that some days are so bad that I really want my stoma back. Well you would have thought I insulted his mother. Right away he was all "there are so many other things we can try first". Two of the many being a defagram (xray while pooping. Now that sounds like a good time!) and a sphincterotomy (basically cutting of the sphincter, another good time.) So, I guess by telling him I think his work may of failed, I lit a fire under his booty.

We also got some blood tests back to check my liver function. All is good. I am anemic, but that is to be expected. And we are still awaiting a call back from Mayo Clinic. I am so nervous that this doctor is going to tell me he can't help me. I try not to dwell on it, but that is easier said then done.

To Live Without

2008-11-06T15:12:00.003-05:00

***Today's post is rate MA for mature audiences only. It may contain emotions and facts not suitable for all readers. Reader discrection is advised.***

While sitting at my colorectal's office waiting for the doc, I found myself fascinated with the poster of the digestive system. I ended up playing a game of seeing if I could locate the organs that I might lose if the endoscopic specialist at Mayo can't help me. I decided that my insides would be pretty empty. I've already lost my colon and rectum (and appendix of course, can't lose the colon and keep the appendix. It would be like amputating the foot while keeping the big toe). I tried to picture what my insides would look like if I lost my duodenum, gallbladder, part of the pancreas and part of the stomach. Then I found myself concentrating on the digestive organs that would be left, it didn't seem like much. Amazing that we can lose these organs and still manage to live.

On a related note, I am heading back to the hospital tomorrow AM. Doc wants to have another look around the pouch and possibly do another dilation. We believe the lovely stricture that landed me in the hospital a few weeks ago is starting to reform. We are hoping this procedure will help to get rid of the abdominal cramping and help regulate the number of times I go. Right now, I vary from not "going" for a day or two to the dam breaking and going well over 30-40 times. FYI both extremes are VERY uncomfortable in their own way.

Bad wifey

2008-11-04T12:21:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I feel bad for Scott, for getting stuck with a defective wife. For example, last weekend we had tickets to the State game and we knew of a cool tailgate. But, my abdominal cramping kept us from going. Then today we had to cut our walk short, again because of my pain. Also it looks like my medical bullshit will eat up all of his time off again next year. Hey honey, how about for a vacation we go to Rochester, Mn and spend all day in a doctors office? Sounds like fun. I feel bad. He doesn't deserve this.

Speaking of Minnesota, Mayo Clinic now has my file and we are waiting for a call back to schedule an appointment. I'm not holding my breath. I know the next available date the doctor has open isn't until Christmas. So in the meantime, I am trying not to dwell in the "what ifs". Easier said then done.

Puppy kindergarden was a blast last night. And Gracie was the cutest one there. Yeah I'm not biased or anything.

The good, the bad and the Gracie

2008-11-03T12:57:00.005-05:00

So far I've had an interesting morning. First the good news: The polyps in my duodenum ARE NOT worse then what we had expected! Yahoo for positve news! But they still need to come out ASAP. As of right now, it appears that we will be meeting with a Gastroenterologist at the Mayo Clinic to see if he will be able to remove the polyps endoscopically. He is "suppose" to be one of best, and if he says he is unable to do it then no one else will. Now the not so good news: Due to the placement and size of the polyps it is very likely that they will not be able to remove them endoscopically. So, we would be looking at modified whipple procedure. I am pretty upset about that. I do not want this. I am too young. That would be a major operation, more major then the total colectomy. Pooh. Maybe at a later date, I'll blog more about "The Whipple" and what it entails. But I don't want to get everyones undies in a bunch until we know for sure.

On a brighter side, Gracie, Scott and I had a great day at the park yesterday. It felt so good to get out and enjoy the fall weather and colors. I was able to get a couple good pictures of the little diva, she doesn't stay still very often.

Happy Halloween

2008-10-31T11:18:00.006-04:00

The little devil wishes you a Happy Halloween! It was close to impossible to get this picture, she would much rather eat the horns then wear them.

Next Monday is going to be a busy day. It starts off with skipping breakfast, being given a bunch of drugs and then having a camera shoved down my throat, past my stomach and into my small intestines. Oh what fun! They actually don't fully knock me out for the procedure, they just give me drugs that make me forgot. Nice huh? I always wonder if I say stupid things? The doc has told me I just let them rip while I'm drug induced. I guess it takes a lot to embarrass me now. Then, for Monday's highlight, Gracie and I start puppy kindergarden! Every Monday night for the next 6 weeks. Two of her litter mates are in the class. It should be a fun time. It is nice that I'm actually starting to do things for fun.

Speaking of doing things just for fun again, I've become quite the Betty Crocker (or Paula Dean, my personal favorite). Pumpkin cookies, pumpkin bread, mock Thanksgiving and today Apple Pie. Hm, I think Scott is fully enjoying the return of my appetite!

Alright I need to go save the kitty from being repeatedly assaulted by the Little Devil.

Special

2008-10-28T11:39:00.004-04:00

I just wrote out this long post. But it was just too gloomy. I'll save it for another day. Here are some picture of little Gracie Mae. So far most of my pictures consist of her sleeping. It is the only time she is still enough, otherwise she is a blur in the picture.

On a whole I am well. Adjusting nicely to this new way of pooping. It can be full of surprises. But so far nothing I can't handle and a hell of a lot better then being backed up with that stupid stricture.

Talked to my Gastroenterologist last night (yeah the actual doc called me. Not one of his nurses, man did I feel special for a moment). Long story short, the duodenum polyps need to come out, like now. Given that my common bile duct is progressively getting larger, the polyps are growing more rapidly then we had hoped (just my luck). My GI consulted with the other docs in his practice and they all came to the same opinion. Due to the size and pla

cement of the main polyp they don't feel there is a doc in the state of Michigan who is qualified

enough to attempt to remove them. So as of right now we are looking into Mayo, Cleveland Clinic or Indiana U. At least those are the places my GI recommends. The doctors feel I need to have these little suckers removed within the next two months. Hey, at least that means maybe we can get all this under this years deductible.

Alright, I'm off to bake some pumpkin cookies. I like this having an appetite again. My body is desperately trying to regain the 25 lbs I've lost over the past 3 months!

Priceless

2008-10-27T10:30:00.007-04:00

I fasted half the day to prevent accidents. I had two body heaters, two hand warmers, and 4 layers of clothes. And it was all worth it to see the Spartans beat the Wolverines at The Big House! What an incredible weekend. I'm kicking myself though. Stupid camera batteries died before we even got into the stadium. Would you believe we were only 9 rows from the field?!

In other news, all seems good. I'm happy to have last weeks hospital stay behind me. Things are still moving through. Thank God they finally dilated that stricture. I knew it was a stricture. I never did due my in-you-face-told-you-so- dance though. The 4 mgs of morphine every 3 hours made me a bit forgetful along with other things. Next week I have 2 visits with the docs. One with my GI to check on the polyps in the duodenum and one follow up with my colorectal surgeon. Honestly, I am nervous for the GI visit. I'm scared of finding out those polyps are growing or changing or worse. One day at a time, right?

Home at last

2008-10-24T11:53:00.005-04:00

A few people have commented that they are having issues with my blog, blogger is having some technically difficulties, but they are aware of them and are working on fixing them.

Well, I'm home. Thank God. I'm just trying to adjust to my new working plumbing system. I am trying to remember that my body is only now learning to do it's job and not to have unreal expectations for it. But it is frustrating. Very frustrating.

Tomorrow is the MSU vs U of M game. Honestly, I am a bit nervous. My bowels are unpredictable, at best. Could be interesting. And embarrassing.

I'm off to go spend more time with Gracie. I have a lot of pictures to take.

About time

2008-10-23T08:42:00.002-04:00

I'm going home! For realsies this time.

Failed

2008-10-22T17:27:00.004-04:00

I don't feel up to posting, but I just wanted to keep everyone in the know. I'm still at the stinkin hospital. They told me I could leave today as long as I passed a few simple objectives.

I had to consume 2 meals.
Keep both meals down.
Both meals needed to exit via the proper route.

Sounds easy right? Well my body couldn't even do that. My first meal decided it would rather come back up instead of going down. And on top of failing those objectives I also developed some incredible abdominal pain (upper right quadrant for you medical junkies) and intense lower back pain.

I hope Gracie hasn't forgotten about me.

Hopeful wishing

2008-10-22T07:43:00.003-04:00

Still here and updating from my hospital bed. Finally had the "procedure" last night. It was scheduled for 4:30, doc didn't show up till 8:30. Nice huh? The procedure went well, he vacuumed out 500 ccs of stool and stretched the main opening (where the pouch is sewn to the skin right above my anus). Surprisingly, it wasn't uncomfortable. I have yet to poop on the toilet. The poop, however, has no problem coming out if I am in any position other than sitting on the pot.
I still feel pretty crappy and I was puking again last night. Gotta love the pink bucket. I'm curious to what my doc will say about the vomiting. I really hope it doesn't stop me from getting to eat food today. By the time yesterdays procedure started I hadn't eaten in 51 hours.
Maybe, just maybe I will get to go home today. I'll update after I see the doctor this morning.

Hurry up and wait

2008-10-21T08:53:00.003-04:00

What a long night last night was. The majority of it was spent with my head in the pink puke bucket. Due to last nights vomitus-maximus, I am NPO (no food or drink, nothing, nada, zilch) today. The residents were trying to give me the dreaded NG tube, but I managed to talk my way out of that. Phew.
Yesterday's CT scan did not show any definitive reason for my pooping, or lack of pooping I should say, problem. So, our next game plan is to sedate me and the surgeon will give it a little looksy. Hopefully then he will be able to see whatever the problem is. The surgeon is booked all day today, so we won't be able to do this till sometime this evening. Fun! I get to hang out in the hospital all day today. I swear whenever I have been in the hospital it is always hurry up and wait, hurry up and then wait. . .
The radiologist did notice something of interest on the CT. It appears as though my "common bile duct" was enlarged. Interesting, given that I have those ticking time bomb polyps still cohabiting there. This could be nothing, or it could mean my duodenum polyps are growing. Thank goodness I have an upper endoscopy scheduled for next week. Will this ever end?

Xray to the CT

2008-10-20T19:49:00.002-04:00

The xray was "inconclusive". So now I am sipping on contrast for a Ct scan. Yum. I haven't been able to poop in who knows how long, but give me this nasty contrast and watch out. Figures.

If anyone is trying to contact me, my phone is acting up. Just when you need it, it goes crap. If you've tried calling and it goes right to voicemail that is why. Feel free to email. I have my complementary laptop set up next to my bed. Gotta love Lacks. Better then most hotels.

I should hear the results from the CT in morning during Dr Kim's 4:30am check-in.

No news is boring news

2008-10-20T15:33:00.003-04:00

Still chillin at the hospital. They took some xrays a few hours ago, but haven't heard anything yet. They also did a digital exam (yup just what you are thinking) and couldn't detect anything wrong there. So there goes my lower stricture theory out the window. I guess I won't be doing that "in-your-face-told-you-so dance" after all. By the talk from the nurses around here it sounds like I'll be here overnight at least. I did get some morphine, which helped with my pain. I didn't fully realize how much pain I was in till it was gone.

The attending called my colorectal surgeon and asked about giving me laxatives. He yelled and said you don't give laxatives to someone without a colon, they won't help. Um, doc, you need to tell your office nursing staff that. Cause that would have been nice to know 3 weeks ago!

You've gotta be kidding me

2008-10-20T10:31:00.003-04:00

Ugh! Long story short. . . I'm being admitted to the hospital. I called my surgeon's office this morning asking if we could move up my Friday appt. My pain is pretty intense. After asking when my last full bowel movement was (Um? maybe some last tues?) they decided I needed to go in.

Who knows what this is going to bring. Hopefully some relief. I'll try and update as I can. So it's off to Lacks I go. . . again.

Vegetable Lust

2008-10-17T09:50:00.006-04:00

I tried the Miralax this week. While it made things move, it caused horrendous pain. The pain when "not going" is also getting more intense. I have been seeing more blood in the bowl. Now that can't be good. When I talked to my surgeon's nurse this morning she agreed that something is wrong somewhere and is squeezing me in next Friday to see him. I still think the "narrowing at the connection site" is causing my misery. But I'm not a doctor, so what the hell do I know? Just know that if I turn out to be right there is going to be a huge "in your face" celebration dance at the doctors office. To help prevent a major obstruction from happening in the mean time I am back on a soft food diet. Fun. I never knew I would one day crave a salad so much. Hm. . . spinach, carrots, asparagus, broccoli. . . Oh apples. . .

I just want to be done with this. I'm tired of only posting about my problems, but they are what are occupying my mind right now. So fricking annoying.

To Go or Not to Go.

2008-10-16T10:02:00.002-04:00

Holy smokes! This little nugget sure is keeping me busy! In a good way. After losing Koda, I thought I would never be able to love like this again.

Still having "going issues". It's quite a conundrum. Either I can be miserable and all backed up with horrible gut pain and bloated or I can take a laxative and have horrendous cramps and can get farther than 5 ft from the loo. I did talk to my surgeon's nurse the other day. If we can't find a happy medium by the end of this week, she is going to talk to the surgeon and hopefully convince him to see me. I would love to know why I am having these issues. I can't live the rest of my life like this.

The best and the worst all wrapped up into one.

2008-10-13T10:28:00.003-04:00

Saturday was suppose to be the happiest day, we were going to pick up Gracie. Unfortunately, things started down hill Friday night. I became extremely ill. We aren't fully sure as to why, but it all started with incredible intestinal cramps. I'm talking a 9 out 10 on a pain scale. They lasted all night, which meant no sleep. Then, by Saturday morning I progressed to vomiting. So, there we sat Saturday morning trying to decide between going to the ER or picking up Gracie. I couldn't stand the thought of not getting her. Picking her up had been my bright spot over the past few weeks. She won out. We packed up the car with plenty of paper towel and puke bags and off we went.

I'm so happy we went. I already can't imagine life without her. I still have some cramping, but at least now it is bearable. We are concerned I may have developed another stricture higher up in the intestines. So I'm back on a full liquid diet. Hm, yummy.

Now that the cat, I mean puppy, is out of the bag. . .

2008-10-09T13:16:00.011-04:00

I would like to introduce you to Gracie Mae:

Gracie is a 7 wks old boxer and is still with her mama and litter mates. She gets to come home tomorrow! I can't wait. We have been going to visit her almost every weekend for the past 4 weeks. I'm in love.

Gracie's mom, was relinquished to the a rescue organization while in active labor. She had a healthy litter of 8 cuties. Right now Mom and babies are living at a fosters house. How could someone just dump a dog? Especially one in active labor?

Gracie and I are good for each other. She will give me a reason to get out of bed, a reason to get out of my pajamas, she will give me something to love again.

She'll keep me on my toes. Hard to wallow in self pity with a cutie like her around.

One shoe. . .

2008-10-08T11:24:00.002-04:00

I really hope I am not jinxing myself but. . . I feel good. I think I have found the right amount of Milk of Mag to take. I have learned my stool needs to be the constancy of water to be able to pass through the scar tissue. Any thicker and it dams up. All I know is this can't be good for long term. The doc wants to "wait and see" and if in 4-6 weeks I'm still having to dose myself with the milk of mag then he will do a dilation while I am sedated.

While I am trying to enjoy feeling semi normal again, I'm a bit hesitant. I feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop at any second.

Lack of Balance

2008-10-06T11:07:00.004-04:00

Just a quick post, as I only got 2 hours of sleep last night and I'm way too tired and cranky to be creative. Still having a pooping problem. If I don't take the Milk of Magnesia, I get very backed up. Since I don't have a colon or a rectum, I have no storage facility. It quickly becomes very uncomfortable (scratch that. It's downright painful) and doesn't take much for me to begin vomiting (the body says heck, if it won't go out one way, we'll make go back out the way it came in). So, then I take the Milk of Mag. I only take 1 Tb. and that is still too much for my body to handle. The cramping pain is some of the worse pain. I'm also unable to get off the loo for more then 10 mins at a time. Sigh, there has to be a happy medium here. I just haven't found it yet.

I continually find myself wishing I still had Stoma Stan.

Poopless

2008-10-03T09:24:00.002-04:00

Things have been getting better. I ate yesterday and no vomiting. Still having pooping issues though. I was all prepared for the massive diarrhea post take-down. I was ready to be a slave to the bathroom. But nope, not me. I barely poop. It's like my body doesn't know how. I'm off to pick up more grape juice and some pear juice (as recommended, I'll report back if it helps) If my new plumbing doesn't figure out how to eliminate my waste here in the next day or two, we will back to where we were last Wed. I honestly believe it is due to a stricture. Which means this won't get better until I go in for a dilation with the doc. Great.

Yodeling in the Porcelain Canyon

2008-10-02T08:39:00.003-04:00

Within minutes of pressing enter on last nights update, things got worse, fast. I began vomiting. After an abdominal surgery, vomiting is a very bad omen. Between upchucks, I put a call into my surgeon's on-call number. When he called me back, he felt that it was a good sign that the Milk of Mag had opened the poop gates. He gave me the option of riding out this storm at home or being admitted to the hospital. He said about 50% of blockage cases work themselves out. If we were to go to the hospital they would give me an iv and the dreaded NG tube and then it would be a wait and see. So, we chose to play wait and see at home. After stopping all food and drink the vomiting stopped.

It was a long night in the Stolen Colon household. Fast forward to this morning. I am a bit nervous to put anything into my stomach. Needless to say I'm back on a all liquid diet this morning.

I'll update if anything exciting happens.

Update the Flood Gates Have Opened

2008-10-01T17:32:00.002-04:00

The milk of mag worked.

Poop Watch '08

2008-10-01T10:09:00.004-04:00

My bowels have made very little progress. Yesterday evening I started to have very small poops, were talking mouse turds here. I hoped it was a sign things were moving. But nope. It was just a tease. I put a call into my surgeon, he said to try some Milk of Magnesia and to call back in 6 hours with a detailed report. Hopefully things are just backed up and this works. Otherwise, I would have to come in. It could mean there is something structurally wrong with the new plumbing.

I feel emotionally wore out, drained. I'm tired of all this. I want to be human again. I want to feel whole and not broken. I just want to get back to my life.

I'll update if there are any new developments in the toilet bowl.

Movement has Ceased

2008-09-30T11:49:00.002-04:00

I haven't had a bowel movement in 36 hours. I really don't want to call my surgeon's nurse. She'll make me come in, and then that will be a very uncomfortable exam. If only I could get things moving on my own. I'm not in any great pain, so I wouldn't think it's a blockage causing this. Besides I haven't eaten anything that could cause a blockage. I'm giving myself a couple more hours to get things moving. Then if the dams don't open I'll call.

:::Running off to drink more grape juice.:::

One Day at a Time

2008-09-29T10:07:00.004-04:00

Saturday was pretty rough for me, but Sunday was better. I've learned a few lessons the hard way. I have to stay on top of my pain. If I miss a pain pill by as little as an hour, it then takes hours to catch back up and get the pain under control. Also, I learned I have to eat very small meals often. If I don't, I get horrible intestinal cramping and pain. And by horrible I mean absolutely-terrible-incapacitating pain. On Sunday I started following a low-residue diet and trying to eat every 2 hours, and it has made a huge difference. On Saturday it hurt so bad after eating it was really hard to convince myself to eat again.

I think it also helps that my bowels fully woke up yesterday. Before yesterday I only would expel very small amounts of stool at a time and I hadn't passed any gas since that one time at the hospital. It took some trials and errors, but I learned how to poop yesterday. Yup, I had to relearn how to poop. So, now when I go the bathroom I have much more substantial bowel movements. I've also started passing gas, lots of it. And whoa, do I feel better. Between the swelling from surgery and all the gas inside me I easily could have passed for five months pregnant.

Thanks again to those who bought me the fall dresses! They are really coming in handy. My abdomen is still so sore I can't wear pants. Even if I wasn't so sore, I don't think they'd fit over my pseudo-pregnant belly.

Home Again

2008-09-26T11:53:00.003-04:00

I'm home! Still in a lot of pain. I wasn't prepared for the pain. For some silly reason, I wasn't aware that this procedure would be so painful. Originally I thought I wouldn't even need to go home on any pain meds. (Ha!) I found out that during the operation the surgeon used spreaders to fully open me up. I thought he was just going to go through the stoma site. So that explains a lot of the pain.

Haven't had a real bowel movement yet, but I did finally pass gas last night. And let's just say I think I woke up the entire floor! It would have made any 8th grade boy proud. I think once I start moving things through the system a lot of this discomfort will go way. As of now, I've only passed small amounts of, what we believe is mainly, mucous and blood. The small intestines aren't use to taking on the role of large intestines and colon. I am trying to enjoy the fact that I have only gone the bathroom a small handful of times since surgery. I know once things wake up I may go as often as 20 times a day.

I can't possible say enough nice things about the place I stayed. Lacks Cancer Center is nicer then most hotels! Seriously. I had a wonderful head massage from their resident massage therapist for my chronic headaches. It felt so good and relaxing! Everyday Becky and I would walk up to the Healing Gardens on the roof. It was so beautiful and serene. Amazing that such a peaceful place exists on top of a roof, in a city no less. And then last night we spent some time in the Meditation Room. It's hard not to concentrate on healing and your well being while there. At Lack's there are patients in all different stages of their battle with cancer and it was a gentle reminder how very fortunate I am. I have so much to be thankful for.

Healing Garden

Meditation Room

*Photos from Lackscancercenter.org

From here on out consider every post possible TMI (too much information)

2008-09-25T21:32:00.008-04:00

I love my mother-in-law. How many women can really say that? For the past two days she has taken time off from her job to hang out with me at the hospital. She plans to stay as long as I am here, and for a few days while I adjust at home. She has been a saint. For 12 hours a day, she sits with me here at the hospital, which believe me isn't all that fun. (Except when I kick her butt in Quiddler. That is definitely fun.) I don't know how I would have gotten through all this without her. Thank you Becky! I love you!

On other bowel related news. . . the bowels have begun to awaken. If you have never experienced post surgery gas pains, there is really no way to describe it. (And no, it is nothing like that time you ate too many hot wings and bruskis.) Before now, I never knew gas pains could bring a grown person to tears. But they can, trust me. While I haven't moved any gas through the new plumbing yet, I have had a few bowel movements. If you can call them that. Post take-down there is suppose to be urgency, frequency and watery consistency. Yeah, I'd say I've had the opposite of that. We are talking constipation and rabbit droppings. (More then you want to hear right? Welcome to my life.) I am concerned this might be related to the "constriction at connection site" that was found during the pouch xray, but in all honesty I have no clue what that even means. Hopefully at tomorrow's 5 am visit with the doc, while in between him pulling out what feels like feet of gauze from of my belly, I can ask him about this. (Yes this is a gross as it sounds.)

And drum roll please. . . If the wound looks good and he deems my bowels are operating all fine and dandy then I may (fingers crossed here!) get to check out tomorrow.

Liquids, bladder and pain meds

2008-09-24T15:03:00.007-04:00

My first day post-op and I am doing pretty good. The bowels haven't fully awaken yet (in other terms I haven't farted) so I am only allowed a liquid diet. Once the bowels are awake I can graduate to solid foods. So far today I've had cream of wheat, peach smoothie and pudding. Not bad for hospital food.

My catheter got removed at 6 am this morning, but my bladder did not get the message. By 11am (5 hours and 2 IV bags later) I had finally convinced my nurse I needed the catheter back. (You know you are in pain when you are begging someone to insert a catheter) 1000 ccs of urine later I felt like a new woman. Luckily, my bladder and I are now on the same page.

I was surprised by my post-op pain. Currently I am on Dilaudid and Toradol and they are doing a good job of controlling the pain. I thought it would just be some superficial pain where the incision was, but it is more intense then that. Probably because they are letting the wound heal from the inside out and it is packed with gauze right now. During the procedure the surgeon cut a one inch incision on either side of Stoma Stan, from there he fished out the other end of the small intestines. Once he sewed them back together and placed them back inside my body, he sutured those two sides closed and left the middle open. The whole operation took two hours.

How long will I be in here you ask? Good question. I will be allowed to leave once I am on oral pain meds, eating solids foods and we can see that those solid foods have made their way through me. I'm guessing I'll be able to go home Friday morning that is if I start passing some gas here soon.

**The author cannot be held responsible for any errors in this post due to the use of pain meds. See above.

2008-09-23T20:58:00.002-04:00

Surgery went smoothly with no complications. The pain is no where as bad as the 1st surgery. But still this is all I can manage typing for tonight. I'll write more tomorrow.

Adios Stoma Stan

2008-09-23T10:42:00.002-04:00

Well, Stoma Stan you've been a good little stoma. You did your job, and now it is on to bigger and better things. If, in the future, our paths should meet again, that would be ok. But here is to hoping I never have to see your shiny red face again.

Lack of food and water may be making me delirious. I am scheduled to go in at 12:15. All I can think about is the IV. My insides are like the Sahara. Since the beginning of this journey, 8 weeks ago, I have lost 19 lbs. I am curious to see if I start putting some of that back on after the take down.

Thank you everyone for your well wishes and prayers. It means a lot to me that you think of me. Scott will try to do an update when I get out of surgery. However, if he's not able to I fully plan to be blogging by tomorrow.

Peace out.

T-minus 29 hours

2008-09-22T08:54:00.004-04:00

I am much more calm going into this surgery then the last. Unlike last time, here I am 1 day before, with no bags packed, no laundry done and no compulsion to clean the entire house.

Here are the stats for tomorrow. The surgery is scheduled for the afternoon. It should only take 1 1/2 hours. The surgeon, Dr Donald Kim, will reconnect my small intestines. He'll attempt to use the current incision where Stoma Stan is now, and only make it an inch or two bigger. Then he'll have to fish out the other end of my small intestine (the "downstream end", from the j-pouch) and he'll sew that to Stoma Stan. Then he'll shove it back into my body. There are only two places he may experience a little hiccup. It may take him longer than expected to find the loose end of my small intestines. (Here's to hoping he's a good fisherman.) And if a lot of scar tissue has formed, he may have to reopen my main incision. Scott will post an update when I'm out of surgery. Then I plan to be blogging from my hospital room. The expected hospital stay should only be 3 days, but it completely depends on how quick my GI tract wakes up.

Come tomorrow my insides will no longer be outside. I'll no longer be excreting my excrement through my abdomen. I will sit on a toilet to poop. Often. Like really, really, often. I'll be like a toddler being potty trained. I'll have to relearn my body's signs that I gotta go. Part of my small intestines will have to learn the job of colon and rectum. Let's hope my small intestines have a quick learning curve.

Commence Liquid Diet.

2008-09-21T17:29:00.004-04:00

First day into surgery prep and I am already hungry. 45 more hours to go. Scott is in the other room, savoring some delish smelling Thai food. I am trying to stay away to keep from morphing into the crazy starving lady.

Keith and Amanda's wedding last night was beautiful. Everything was perfect. Welcome to the family Ms Amanda! I love you both.

Three More Days

2008-09-20T09:06:00.003-04:00

I can't believe my Take Down surgery is in three days. Figures, by the time I get use to Stoma Stan it's time for him to go. I'm a little nervous for life after take down. I'm not anxious about the actual procedure, but more nervous for life afterwards. Will I be chained to the toilet? How long before I can go out and not have to worry about where bathroom is? Will I have to wear Depends? How often will I have accidents? Will I have enough continence control to go to the MSU vs U of M game in the middle of October? I picked up some "supplies" yesterday. Economy pack of charmin toilet paper? Check. Calmostine (cream for butt burn)? Check. Mini squirt bottle (to wash away the gastric juices after each movement before they start eating away the skin)? Check. Mini toilet paper rolls for my purse (Have you ever seen the stuff they attempt to pass as toilet paper in some restrooms? When you are going as often I will, you need your own personal supply of the soft stuff.)? Check.

Tonight will be my last real meal for awhile. After midnight tonight it's just liquids for me. Tonight also is my brother-in-law's wedding. My sister-in-law, Jess, and I are doing a reading at the ceremony. I'm a little nervous. No, not for standing up and speaking in front of a large group of people (ok I lied I am nervous about that). I'm nervous I'll bite it after standing up. I still after an issue with the fainting. That would be the perfect time for it happen.

Best. Commercial. Ever.

2008-09-18T10:17:00.002-04:00

All good on this front.

2008-09-17T08:56:00.005-04:00

Visit with the cardiologist went well yesterday. I was surprised to find out that while sitting my pulse jumps to 114 but if I lay down it goes to 76. I was so engrossed with this that I kept testing myself all day. (It is fun being easily amused.) The main reason my primary referred me to the cardiologist was to have the tilt table test performed. The cardiologist, however, could not be bothered to perform this test. Oh well. The cardiologist diagnosed me with orthostatic hypotension. I was a bit perturbed by him. We already suspected this was the diagnosis, but the point of the visit was to prove this is what was causing the fainting (by performing the tilt table test). He did prescribe me a medicine that will help, Florinef. It is suppose to make my kidneys hold on to more water and sodium, but at the same time it lowers the amount of potassium and calcium in the body. Since my body has had trouble regulating my electrolytes as is, I don't really know if this medicine is the best for me. I tried to express my concerns with this drug, especially with it being so close to surgery, but he didn't seem to listen. My plan is to hold onto the script, and see if I still have these symptoms after the take down. There is no way I am going to start a new med this close to surgery, especially since one of its side effects was "slow wound healing". Yeah right.

If there is any place on earth that looks like purgatory, it might be the waiting room of a cardiologist office. It was very obvious the other patients were trying to figure out what the hell I was doing there. Some people were staring so hard, I wondered if maybe I forgot to put pants on or something.

Hm, I just noticed that I never gave you all the results from my pouch-o-gram. There are no leaks, but there is some "narrowing at the connection site" (doctors description, not mine). We will still go through with the take down as planned, but if I experience problems then we will make an appointment for the Doc to dilate the constricted area. Doesn't that sound pleasant? The nurse noticed my hesitation, and immediately assured me the dilation would be done under anesthesia. Phew!

One Week, WHAT?!

2008-09-16T10:03:00.005-04:00

Finally, late yesterday afternoon the nurse from my primary's office called with my results. The Ct scan was clear and the blood work was in the "normal range". Good news all around! At 1pm today I am off to visit the cardiologist. I'm starting to tire of these all these docs. I know, I know, no harm in checking. The point of today's appointment is to hopefully prove that my fainting episodes are caused by blood pressure and not something neurological. My primary was real big on trying to get answers for what that is going on with my body. Which I guess is a good thing. Compared to past docs who couldn't give two stools about what was causing the blood in my stool and making my white blood cell count so high, this is something new for me.

Funny, when I was at my primary's office last week I had said something along the lines of "Thank you very much Doc." To which he replied "Oh Stephanie, you can call me Brian" Um, no no no! I do not need to be on a first name basis with my doc. I am not that person. I do not plan to see him so often that our relationship would be casual enough for me to call him by his first name. I am not a sickly person. Nope, not me. Even with all that is going on. (Hm, I wonder if I am in some sort of denial here.)

On another semi related note. . . I am ONE WEEK out from my next surgery! Whoa, it seems like only yesterday I was in the surgery floor awaiting to be rolled into the OR. Oh, how times flies when you're. . .er. . .recovering?!

Another Day, another office visit.

2008-09-10T13:48:00.006-04:00

How much of the rest of my life will be spent sitting in waiting rooms? I need to invest in a larger purse so I bring things with me to keep my mind occupied. There is only so many outdated magazines one can pretend to stare at.

This morning I had an appointment with my primary care physician. It wasn't for anything special, just a check up and to talk about a "few things". My doctor is actually a very good doc, he sat with me for over an hour and talked things out with me. Unfortunately, I am finding that doctors like this, who can make time for you, are rare. Even though the appointment went well, there were a handful of things that concerned the good doc. So, I'm off for some more testing.

First off, tomorrow I get to have a brain ct. Fun! Given the chronic headaches and this passing out thing I've been doing we figured there is no harm in looking.

Also I am having some blood tests done tomorrow. Again just to check things out. He wants to get a comprehensive metabolic panel (yeah I don't really know what that means either) andto check thyroid levels. Also I saw that he put on the lab order a cholesterol screening .

I was all "Cholesterol? Why do we need to check that, Doc?" Thinking maybe he thought it would show something was wrong with one of my organs.

His response was "We should always screen people's cholesterol levels"

"But I thought that was something you only need to be concerned with when you are older"

"Yes thats true."

"Oh. . ." Crap I keep forgetting I'm not 19.

Also I am being referred to a cardiologist. Again it is for the passing out thing I keep doing. I prefer to call it the "whoomps whoomps" due to the sound I hear when it happens. It starts off with me feeling funny, then everything goes black even though my eyes remain open. Hands and face go numb and I can't talk. A couple times during the "episode" I completely forget where I am and I twitch a bit. Basically he just wants to check that nothing major is causing all this. The thought is it is just related to blood pressure and hydration issues.

I feel pretty confident that none of this stuff is going to show anything serious. But then again we felt that way before the original colonoscopy. Oh well better safe than sorry.

I have now seen more doctors in the past 4 months then I have in my whole life. Really hard to believe that just a few months ago I was a perfectly healthy 29 year old. What happened to the old healthy-I don't bother seeing doctors-I don't take medication-me?